Monday, October 12, 2009

I'm turning into some kind of hippie.

I found myself actually missing my bicycle while I was out and about; one night I even dreamed about riding it to Fresh Market to do my grocery shopping.

If I start craving granola, somebody please kill me.


El Capitan said...

Granola's not such a bad thing, taken in moderation.

Birkenstocks and patchouli oil, though... that's a hanging offense in these parts!

Tam said...

Patchouli is the smell of Bolshevism.

jetfxr69 said...

"Somebody please kill me."

I'm not doing it!! First, there's the fact that you're demonstrably better-armed than I most hours of the day. Second, there's the wave of VFTP-denied "zombies" that would be created upon such an event and would spend the rest of their non-lives hunting me down.


Point taken, though. It's probably a good idea for there to be some intervention plan Ms. X, Shootin' Buddy, Brigid, or others close to you (in meatspace) can execute...

WV: otonylo--a material used for making tactical ear-mittens

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Friendship's Final Duty.

Hippies... worse than zombies.

BobG said...

"If I start craving granola, somebody please kill me."

That could probably be cured; if you start craving tofu, however, then I'll know that the Apocalypse is near.

og said...

Don't sweat it. You'd be the first tactical assault hippie, which would rock on ice.

Blackwing1 said...

There's a proven cure...grilled rib-eye, about 1-1/2" thick, mortally-peppered, sizzling on the outside and just barely not-mooing when cut.

Grant Cunningham said...

Didn't I predict this, people? It's happening before our eyes. Today she's Tam, tomorrow she'll insist on being called Sunbeam.

That bicycle is evil, possessed; full of the waters of collectivism and smelling of unshaved armpits. It must be destroyed, lest it succeed in this nefarious mission.

(Tam, do you have any tie-dyed shirts yet? Please tell us you don't! PLEASE, for the love of FSM, tell us you haven't brought one of those unholy talismans into your home!)

-=[ Grant ]=-

John Peddie (Toronto) said...

"...she'll insist on being called Sunbeam."

That would go nicely with her new nose-ring and tats. As a bonus, it matches the the Birkenstocks too.

Haight Ashbury would never recover.

Ye merciful Gods!

NattyBumpo said...

A "friend" of mine asked me on Facebook to join his group "Blue Steel Democrats - Gun Owners Caucus of the Democratic Party of Oregon" I declined and told him that, While I was all for it, three people do not a group make." He is of course a real hippy. His oldest was conceived on the grass in Upstate New York during three days of love and music. And he rides a bike to work. So Tam could slip over to the darkside, and still be "one of us" but she would need close supervision.


Anonymous said...

Next time your in town we should go pick wild flowers.


staghounds said...

The path from libertarian, gear head gun nut mocker of amputee chickens to Earth Shoe wearing hippie is not a straight line, but a circle.

And a bicycle- not just ANY bycicle, but a special, high tech, Gaia friendly bicycle- is the vehicle.

I wouldn't worry about hippie, though. That's not nearly so bad as becoming-


the right kind of white person.

Matt G said...

I'm trying to picture what Tam's First Tattoo will look like. Maybe a portrait of JMB?

Actually... that would be kinda kewl.

And there's not a damned thing wrong with liking to ride your bicycle.

Old Grouch said...

...tomorrow she'll insist on being called Sunbeam.

Pippin Galadriel Moonchild.

Joanna said...

I ride my bike. I like granola and tofu. I appreciate artisan cheese and fine yogurt. But God help you if you call me a hippy.

Tam, if you tend hippyish, I'll just bop you with a rolled-up magazine and say "no". I will then feed you steak until it's out of your system. Deal? Deal.

Midwest Chick said...

I always picture modern hippies as those cranky, too-skinny, tofu-complected, lanky haired folks wandering the bulk aisles at Whole Foods.

I think they'd be less cranky if they had a steak and a snickers bar.

But gun-toting chicks who happen to ride bikes don't fit my mental picture so you're safe.

Anonymous said...

What is a "hippy?" Do they still exist anymore?

Are these the people we call "environmentalists" in California?

Matt G said...

Word up, Joanna.

One of my best friends is a sculptor. She eats no red meat or pork, and tends heavily toward tofu in her cooking. She is environmentally-conscious in her methods and personal habits. She works in clay, and feels a connection with the earth. She is independent and self-employed.

Having been born in 1949, she was a child of the '60s, and saw first-hand how the hippies acted and lived. Sweet as she is, she gets mighty pissed if you call her a "hippy." She is quick to point out that she works for a living, dammit. (and she does. She gets up by 6 every morning, and works all day.)

E said...

Bicycles are wonderful, elegant, efficient machines. In the past they were often manufactured by luminaries of engines and arms such as BSA (Birmingham Small Arms), Mossberg, Steyr, etc.

Bicycles, Motorcycles, and Guns have a long and glorious history together!

Do not let the hippies colonize the bicycle!

I often daydream about taking my single-speed mountain bike hunting at the nearby WMA....

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to restoring the BSA in the basement (crossed rifles headbadge, yes indeedy).

Tam said...

"What is a "hippy?""

A person who is concerned about the size of their hips. A "hippie" is someone who wears Birkenstocks and whiffs of patchouli, which is the scent of Bolshevism.

E said...

"taking my single-speed mountain bike hunting" just to be clear... the mountain bike would go hunting. This is not the hunting of mountain bikes.

Hm. My captcha is "oviseflu", which must be a vaccine for a contagious disease afflicting extra-large eggs.

Kristophr said...

Wanna turn a bike into a grocery hauler?

WV: candi .... yea, you can haul a lot of that with this rig.

Anonymous said...

So, you'll be wanting a yoga mat and some beads for Christmas instead of guns?

Shootin' Buddy

Tam said...

As a hippie, I would feel it my duty to get guns off the street...

...and into my house.

Anonymous said...

Your house has Tibetan flags, Bob Marley posters and reeks of incense, lentils and self-righeousness.

That's no place for a gun!

Shootin' Buddy

Anonymous said...

Hey, E:

Now that's bicycle deer hunting.

Home on the Range said...

I've found you the perfect tactical hippie gun (check your email)

Assrot said...

When I see you on "Wednesday Night at the Range" with Birkenstocks on, I'll know the world has ended.

It will be time for me to move on from this planet then.



Anonymous said...

Just think, the gas you could save by riding your bike could be used to make molotov cocktails for when the zombies break out.

Or the hippies.


PS - Good Omens - highly recommended, but something tells me you read it long before I did.

E said...

"Now that's bicycle deer hunting."

That's what I was imagining, except with some convincing hunter orange, knobbie tires, and a Hawken.

But that guy has me so 0wnd: he prolly has a banana seat on that little two-stroke, in addition to the high-rise bars. Dang.


rremington said...

A Hippie who packs a Springer Pro and takes class from Louis Awerbuck.... I don't think we have too much to fear.

staghounds said...

No, that's deer SHOOTING with a bicycle.

THIS is deer HUNTING. Click on picture 13 for a good close up of their expressions, very serious fun.

Bruce B. said...

Have you been riding enough to kick in your endorphin production? That dream and the feeling of missing your bike indicates to me that you're in endorphin withdrawal. Happened to me when I went to Chattanooga for a three week course in '95. Stopped riding to have more time to study in the evenings and a friend that was with me insisted that I get out on the bike during the third week. He could see the symptoms that I didn't.

Rick R. said...

Just know the difference between "hippies" and "progressives".

"Progressives" wear dark turtlenecks, drink overpriced coffee, and love the French.

"Hippies" are dirty and smelly.

Remember -- if it's dirty and smelly, it's probably a hippy or a wino. The wino is more likely to be willing to take responsibility for his situation.

Rick R. said...

Bruce, I clicked you rlink.

I found the title ("French hunting, day one...") quite misleading.

It's about hunting IN France. . . oh, well. . .

Firstly you must always implicitly obey orders, without attempting to form any opinion of your own regarding their propriety. Secondly, you must consider every man your enemy who speaks ill of your king; and thirdly you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil

-- Nelson

Anonymous said...

Bike-rider's "withdrawal symptoms" --

Dey be's fo' real. I recently went almost two weeks off'n the crank-powered, wheeled nimbleness: over-work, dog shows, visiting relatives, etc.

Martha Anne told that I was getting more grizzly bear tempered by the hour, towards the last. Back on wheels -- and in a mere three days of riding: sleep better, don't throw irritating tools and objects at work, and the dogs love me again.

Note: y'r conditioning can fade alarmingly fast, so don't plan a long, fast ride in the first coupla days.

Ummmm...the hippie thang?

Won't work with you. You have abundant evidence of possessing and using a working brain. So, Tam-as-she-are is automatically and categorically disqualified from such such human slumming.

However, if you start muttering things about gettin' a 'fixie', be assured that it just normal bikie depravity, obsessing over single speed, fixed gear 'gutter ball' commuter. Just a passing phase,like 10MM's.

dexpran -- a new pharmaceutical
brand name in waiting.

John, the Red