Thursday, October 15, 2009

Life, Liberty, and Low Latency.

(CNN) -- Finland has become the first country in the world to declare broadband Internet access a legal right.

There are days that I really feel sorry for the guys at The Onion. When the real world gets this bizarre, the satire business must get downright Sisyphean.

17 comments:

Mikee said...

Access yes, a plug you can use in a Finnish airport, not so much....

Jay G said...

Finland. Kinda close to Norway. Where the Nobel Committee just gave the Peace Prize to 0bama for his eleven fabulous days in office.

Obviously there's lead paint in lutefisk...

Anonymous said...

"Finland. Kinda close to Norway."

Kinda? You mean like New Hampshire is kinda close to Massachusetts as they share a border?

:-)

/s/ Geography Nazi

Joanna said...

Aw dangit, I always like the Finns because they kicked massive amounts of Russian ass in WWII. Once again: Making a right out of a service makes the service provider an effective slave. Go get your own damn broadband!

Joanna said...

*liked

jesperskibbey said...

To paraphrase:

We think (that access to hi-def streaming porn or Quake Live) is something you cannot live without in modern society" - Laura Vilkkonen

MCSA56 said...

My big question is:

"Does the freakout german kid, pissed that Unreal won't load have any legal recourse?"

Rick T said...

Methinks this is a shot across the bow of the EU's Copyright Cops that want you permanently banned from the Intartubes after the 3rd time you are *accused* of copyright infringement...

Silver the Evil Chao said...

The Onion's going to go out of business if this keeps up.

D.W. Drang said...

Kinda like the reason everyone thinks Tom Lehrer is dead--he stopped performing because real life was getting so bizarre.

NattyBumpo said...

This is all according to the plan set forth by SkyNet. You can't have pockets of carbon-based lifeforms running around unmonitored. This way SN can tell all the wired toasters in Finland to take out that group of people. Although, I would like to know how they intend on "enforcing" this with the Sami. They are still as far north as you can get without joining Santa's Union.

NB

Anonymous said...

Well, this balances nicely the planned media payment that forces Finnish households to pay an extra tax to support the state media network.

http://yle.fi/uutiset/news/article1049056.ece

Pun the librarian

Kristopher said...

No ... when the going gets weird, the Weird turn pro.

Expect The Onion to become a standard MSM news outlet ... although they may be criticized for not being as strange as reality, their more prosaic version of news might be comforting to us older folks who still expect reality to make some form of sense.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and in other news, use of slot machines in Finland could require registration in the future because of gambling addiction, says an official.

Funnily enough, this official is the head of "lottery and gun control office" and Finland is currently renewing it's gun laws.

Wonder how that'll go.

Pun again

Marja said...

Tell me about it - I live in Finland. Talk about being well regulated, and monitored, and...

Well, we well nannied citizens here grumble a lot, but that's all we do. Sorry to say.

Anonymous said...

.. you all realize it is just a cunning ploy of putting the tabs on all citizens(nearly every laptop has a built-in webcam.. next to everyone runs windows and only 1% of people might ever find that custom written trojan that security companies have been told not to detect) and making voting electronic, thus saving massive amounts of cash..

-Orc

(I sort of like the idea. Anyway, if it were left to OS people and universities and a few million € grant, I'm sure they'd be able to come up with a pretty neat and secure electronic voting system. And thereafter, there'd be no recounts, massive election expenses,just upkeep of a small server farm and bandwith costs.)

Anonymous said...

There are still some old timey Finns left, of the grit and endurance and shooting traditions that gave the Rooskies a lethal dose of Winter War.

About as many of them left, proportionately, as this country still has of farmers who would march off to a bridge at Concord, in order to keep an onerous government from seizing the essentials necessary for public self-defense.

Lately, I'm thinking entropy, personal cowardice, and a plunging world brain-deficit is winning. Finland is just getting there a little bit sooner.

Note that an old WW2 Finnish 'silent load' shooter mentioned the 'domestic Finnish Communists' wanting to take away guns, back when he was still writing articles on 'cat sneeze' ammo, suitable for popping Red Army convoy drivers.

Silently stops the leading trucks just prior to a buncha guys on skis swooping down and emptying 100 round drums from Soumi sub-guns into the ruckus.

BTW, getting those big Soumi knives away from their owners will be the gov's REAL problem; never mind the guns. Those blades are sharp and they know how to use them.

John, the Red,
West End of Lake Erie
awaiting waterfowl season opening day this weekend.

'catical' --ask a gericat for a comment and that's what sort of reply you get