You know you have crossed the regulatory event horizon and are heading for the bureaucratic singularity, from which not even the most energetic particle of common sense can escape, when there are specific federal government guidelines for conducting security inspections of service monkey's diapers at airports.
I will note that they are not allowed to touch your monkey.
This is becoming security theater, as directed by Fellini.
I'm sure special TSA instructions for probulating midget circus clowns are next.
(h/t to Shermlock Shomes.)