Me: "Wow. Bobbi, check out that hipster douchebag over there. Some elderly lesbian wants her glasses back."
RX: "Rachel Maddow's been looking for hers all morning. The last place she saw them was at the Hipster Douchebag Appreciation Dinner."
Me: "They can't have those in Manhattan. They'd have to invite everybody."
RX: "That's what the island is."
Me: "A hipster douchebag penal colony?"
RX: "Oh, that's a cute little kid over there."
Me: "Yeah, but look at his mom's eyewear. The kid's a member of the Future Hipster Douchebags of America. When he gets older, they'll be enrolling him into the local Hipster Douchebag Scouts troop. He'll be getting merit badges in 'Dressing Ironically' and 'Buying Apple Products'."
The table talk devolved into what said merit badges would look like. The Apple and Starbucks logos were the obvious ones. Perhaps a goatee, the little Twitter bird, and a QR code, as well.