Salem's Lot.

Imagine what the Salem witch trials would have been like if we'd had television back then. Young, excitable teenagers suffering mysterious symptoms "beyond the power of Epileptic Fits or natural disease to effect" would have gotten on the Today show, and the attention and excitement would have caused more kids to get possessed by demons, and the Malleus Maleficarum would be at the top of the NYT best seller list.

Of course, we're way too sophisticated for that nonsense now. Now we call Erin Brokovitch.

At least the girls of LeRoy haven't fingered the social studies teacher as a witch yet. (And a good thing, too, because the gullible naifs of that pathetic township would probably have the poor biddy hanged by nightfall.)

Meanwhile, Oklahoma is becoming a vanguard state in the struggle to ban the use of aborted human fetuses in food products to be consumed by humans, a problem heretofore unknown by anyone, save that narrow demographic consisting of insomniacs who own shortwave radios.

My god, it's like the Age of Reason never even happened.
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