Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Overheard in Roomie's Bedroom...

The TeeWee has just segued from the local morning news program to the Today show, as the day gets underway at Roseholme Cottage...
RX: "The power was out in Washington, D.C., too."

Me: "I know, and they're actually restoring it! Idiots."

RX: "Well, it turns out that regular people live there, too."

Me: *grimly* "Sometimes sacrifices have to be made."
Look, I personally believe that there's a reason our genius forefathers parked the national capital in a malarial swamp with a summertime climate that would make a hardened steamship stoker whimper, and everybody who lives there is experiencing it right now: It's hard to get much onerous legislatin' done when you're melting.

All lawmaking and regulation-writing for the federal government should have to be done inside the boundaries of the District of Columbia proper between the months of May and September, and possession of an electric fan or air conditioning unit within the confines described by I-495 should be a hanging offense, because we don't want them to be able to luxuriate in their refrigerated homes at night, then dash into the office to scribble stuff down for five minutes before the sweat drips off their brows and makes the ink all blotchy. Getting sent to D.C. should be a punishment detail, not a sort of Club Med for power-mad narcissists.

As an interesting aside, the NBC TeeWee morning program has been all about "How to survive a heat wave!" and "Best exercise routines for a hot day!" and "What to do when your power goes out!" and "Is organic tofu safe to eat if it's gone unrefrigerated?" for days now, ever since the first flirtation with high temps in NYC and now through the storm recovery in the nation's capital. I swear, a whole city between the Appalachians and the Rockies would have to be scoured from the face of the earth to get as much airtime as a Manhattanite breaking a sweat or a Washingtonian unable to recharge their Blackberry.

No word yet if people have resorted to cannibalism in RFK Stadium, or if Barack Obama hates white people.

17 comments:

Bubblehead Les. said...

Actually, if you would just restore the power to the Museums and the Memorials and other Tourist Stuff, you could probably have had the problem solved days ago. In today's Interweb World, there's really no need for Gooberment Thugs to do Face-to-Face Meetings to get their Bribes. Just Tweet them that the Wire Transfer to the Caymens went through, and they can relax and tell their Plebes back home how well the latest round of Free Cheese is working for them via their FaceBook Account.

Joel said...

Recycle all the AC gear in DC, as an example to the masses! Green Power!

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

whimper

kishnevi said...

Ah, yes, all the hints about how to survive without electricity will be devotedly listened to by all those people who can't watch TV because their power is still out.

About DC--the deal that stuck DC in DC is really the sort of backroom politicking for which he hate politics--making sure Wall Street (well, really, the equivalent of Wall Street) got paid, special interests got catered to, and taxpayers stuck with the bills.

Rome of course was another capital famous for being set in the middle of a region filled with malarial swamps.

Stranger said...

Actually, the sixteen foot ceilings and double hung windows made life without alternating current reasonably comfortable. Remember, despite Congress generating enough hot air to power a small town, the Capitol did not get A/C until 1925. An age when men wore three piece wool suits, woolen underwear, starched canvas shirts and ties in the summer.

My sympathy goes to the poor sods who bought tract ovens with eight foot ceilings, energy efficient windows that do not open, no screened porches and are paying the price for their rashness.

We were out of juice for over a month after Katrina but we are equipped for it. The folks from Ohio east who are in the dark are not.

Stranger

Kristopher said...

All legislation should be done within the confines of Room 101.

Tam said...

Stranger,

"...the Capitol did not get A/C until 1925..."

Close enough to when the growth curve of the C.F.R. went asymptotic that I'm saying it's no coincidence... :p

Drang said...

See, now, this right here is why I tried to nominate you and Bobbi for Prez and Veep last time around.

Jeff said...

Probability Broach...

Make it as hard as you possibly can to get to the seat of .gov.

RKN said...

Seeing a weather map of America redder than a bad sunburn has us gloating here in Anchorage.

Brad K. said...

Tam,

"resorted to cannibalism in RFK Stadium, or if Barack Obama hates white people. "

That is a horrible thing to say! . . Um, you don't really think cannibalism will spread to RFK Stadium, do you?

HerrBGone said...

Now I used to live just barely inside the confines of that particular 495. Within earshot of the trucks on the highway if it was a quiet morning as a matter of fact. Used to see Pen Central GG1’s go past the house on their way between Baltimore and DC all the time too. But that’s another story. When my family moved from there to Marxistchusetts I had not much choice but to tag along, being about eleven years old at the time. So about four decades ago I had some rather limited local knowledge of the area.

Anywho… If we confine the fan ban to government buildings and perhaps the residences of upper echelon government officials I could go along with it. But there are an awful lot of those afore mentioned tract ovens down there occupied buy regular folks not directly employed by or garbing power within the government. If we can create a loop hole to exempt them, I’d be cool with that.

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

I lived for a year in Pepco territory. I still shudder at the memories.

MSgt B said...

It sure has been an interesting week.

Hang tough, NJT.

Bram said...

HerrBGone - the remedy is easy - reduce DC to the size it ought to be (government buildings and parks) and give the rest back to Maryland and / or Virginia.

cj said...

Seems like the forefathers picked the swamp since it was a piece of land no one else wanted and wouldn't complain about losing.

Given today's self-entitled group in power, if they had to choose today it would likely be on some of the most expensive real estate in the country, on a private gated area where the peons couldn't get in (complete with armed guard posts), multiple Olympic pools that no one would ever use along with every other cozy spa capabilities they could dream up.

HerrBGone said...

cj, they couldn't have used the swamp today anyway because the EPA wouldn't let them. All those skeeters need to have a home too...