Friday, May 04, 2007

Seen in comments at Lawdog's virtual crib:


"After reading through all the conspiracy theories about all the suspicious events in the world, I have noticed that every single one blames the wrong person. It was me. I did it. Name a conspiracy theory, and I'll admit I was behind it all. THe sinking of the Maine; Castro hired me to set the coal bunkers alight with a Habana. The Reichstag fire; it wasn't caused by the Nazis or Jewish communists, I was simply showing Karl Haushoffer how to light farts when things got out of hand. I pulled off 9-11 and framed Osama bin Laden because his brother Rasheed sold me bad falafel. WTC 7 fell because of my experiments with a copy of Tesla's earthquake machine. And the Pentagon was not hit by an airliner or a missile, but instead it was hit by a giant paper airplane when I tried for the world record. I destroyed Atlantis to promote Plato's novel; I promoted New Coke on behalf of Dr. Pepper. I keep the remains of the aliens from the Roswell crash in a freezer that's next to the vault containing every sock that's ever gone missing from a dryer."


Kristopher said...

DWFMTX is off his meds again ... he was s'posed to keep his fool mouth shut.


Standard Mischief said...

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscars night?
We do! We do!