Sunday, April 15, 2007

It's not finking if I don't name names...

*RING, RING*

Tam: "Hello?"

Friend whose name is being withheld to protect his dignity: "Hey, have you guys left the house yet?"

T: "No, why?"

F: "Well, I just cornered a big raccoon on the porch, and it's acting a little aggressive, and I went inside to get my .22 pistol, and I can't find any .22 ammunition anywhere..."

T: "Your signal's breaking up; I could swear I just thought I heard you say you don't have any .22 ammunition."

F: "Hey, the house is still a wreck from moving. Could you just swing some by on the way to the restaurant?"

T: "Sure. Actually I just happen to have a box... in my purse."

Kaylee: "I've got a box in my glove compartment, I think."

F: "What'd she say?"

T: "She said she had a box in her glove compartment. I think we've got you covered. Okay, we're on the way."

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

So did you get the kill?

And why did your buddy not have any .22LR?

Its just plain Un-American.

TBeck said...

Oooh. I see a new thread coming from this: What's the Best Handgun for Raccoon Country?

S&W can develop a brand new revolver for their proprietary .577 Varmint cartridge and sell the entire ensemble in a neon green, waterproof box along with a road flare and matches (for marking the kill).

Seriously, a friend will come get you out of jail, but a true friend will come shoot whatever it is that goes BUMP under the porch.

Kristopher said...

If you run out of ammo, you should use the bayonet.

Bob said...

A TRUE friend will also go under and drag it out after shooting it under the porch.

jrshirley said...

Kaylee going to be around when I make it back in a couple of months? I'd love to see her before she leaves for The Last American Wilderness.

B&N said...

.22lr on the 'coons around these parts will just piss them off!

You need something in the .357 range to kill a rabid animal that's 35 pounds.

YMMV.

T said...

b&n,

Aim better. Head shots with a .22 are effective on raccoons no matter what the size.

B&N said...

t,

Aim has nothing to do with it.

Experience is a bitch of a teacher. It's a long and uninteresting story, and parallels the one Tam was describing. Almost the exact same thing happened to a friend several years ago, you see, and a .22 was all he had. After a whole clip, he called me up for more firepower, as he was sure that that was the cure that was needed.

For all it's worth, I was trying to be funny, although serious at the same time.

Matt G said...

To think that I was ashamed when, 13 years ago, I couldn't find the CCI .22 shotshells while staying at Dad's and saw a rodent. We had a few hundred .22 LR rounds, but no shotshells that I could find quickly for the kit gun. Ended up using a short.

Now, right handy at the house, are: .22 LR hypervelocity, High-velocity, Standard Velocity, Target, Target Handgun, and SubSonic, .22 Shorts (HV), .22 CB Longs and .22 CB Caps, Aguila (basically .22 CB Longs), and a couple of honest-to-Gawd BB Caps that I stole from Dad's gun room. (Copper cases that are really just rimmed percussion caps, with a .22 caliber lead BB pressed in.) And both .22 shotshells with the plastic shells, and with the crimped mouth.

I doubt that I've even got 150 rounds rolling around in my trunk. (I can NEVER take that car to Mexico-- I'd never be able to find all the ammo.)

It occured to me the other day that I had 5 kinds of ammo on my person while at work.

Zendo Deb said...

.22LR ... don't leave home without it

TBeck said...

I rented a Five-seveN (or however they spell it) yesterday. Neat concept, I think. Actually, I'm not really sure what the concept is. Very little, very expensive bullets going very fast.

But no question that the pistol would do a number on any raccoon confused about its place in the food chain. Even if the bullet missed the muzzle flash would incinerate the beast.