Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Another thing checked off the bucket list.

Somewhere in the universe, a thousand years ago, a red giant star could have blown itself into a supernova. As its core collapsed into a black hole, fusing matter from its outer layers could have been focused by the lens of its gravity into two titanic beams, spewing high-energy radiation from the poles of its accretion disc.

One of these beams, heavy with gamma rays, sleeting across the universe at 186,000 miles per second could strike the Earth tonight, burning the atmosphere and killing every living thing in its path...

...but I would die happy, because I just drank a beer made with weasel poo and, really, doesn't that prove that there's a point to this whole universe thing after all? Happy frickin' birthday to me. :)

35 comments:

drjim said...

Happy Birthday, Tam!

BGMiller said...

Burning through....
Every living thing...

Well that's a heck of a thing to read just before bed. Makes me feel better about not getting my library books back this afternoon though.

BGM

Crotalus (Don't Tread on Me) said...

Happy birthday, Tam, but you are strange...

perlhaqr said...

I refuse to consume the digestive products of anything large enough to interact with. ;)

Tam said...

BGMiller,

Doing a bit of reading on gamma ray bursts made me kinda put things in perspective. ;)

perlhaqr said...

Or, to put things in Pulp Fiction terms, while a pig may be a filthy animal, bacon is delicious. On the other hand, I draw the line at weasel-poop coffee.

45er said...

I won't geek on Zoology since the title sounds better the way you wrote it. Mikkeller, by the way, is one of my absolute favorite brewers. Their Draft Bear is a great "anytime" beer. All this without having an actual brewery. Crazy.

Brandoch Daha said...

That sounds like Doc Smith except for the weasel poo. I doubt thats what the zwilniks were really smuggling.

I guess the Gray Lensman never kicked in the wrong door and blew grandma's pug to hell, either. Or grandma.

I wonder if those books weren't quite as realistic as I always assumed.

JD Rush said...

Happy birthday (said while backing away nervously)

45er said...

Oh yeah, and Happy B-day. I slapped up a comment over at Brigid's, but I really should do it in the right place. :)

Ritchie said...

Happy birthday and best wishes on your day. And please pass along my regards to Doc Smith.

Jim said...

I already knew what an accretion disc is, likewise the speed of light. But I had to look up the beer.


Very sad. Meaning my birthday gift to you must be a warning. I know nothing of the long-term effects of civet cat poop, but I caution you in the strongest terms to understand that anything brewed in Norway is a gateway drug to lutefisk.

Matt G said...

I'm glad my good friend is happy. you deserve to be, generally. But most especially today you do.

bluesun said...

Hmmm... anything that is reviewed as having an "oily mouthfeel" made out of weasel droppings is suspect to me, but I suppose you would have had to have been there...

Chalkie said...

Happy birthday!

But, no joke, I think we're looking down the barrel of one of those things, and no one in power thinks it's a good idea to figure out how to get off of this rock.

http://www.space.com/5081-real-death-star-strike-earth.html

Anonymous said...

Happy B day Tam!!! may you have many more!


Walt

Secesh said...

Weasel poo? No thanks. Happy birthday and best wishes for many more.

John A said...

"weasel-like civetcats" may be understating a bit, think skunk. The main commercial use of these animals is harvesting the powerful odoriferous glandular output, then diluting it as an ingredient in high-end perfumes: seems that as well as its own eye-watering smell, it can absorb and release others.

Gnarly Sheen said...

Happy birthday, and may you have as many more birthdays as you want.

WV: Chemo. Wtf?

Kristopher said...

Chalkie: If a full GRB gets set off near this galaxy's core black hole, everything in the Milky Way gets reset to radiodurans.

You can't run far or fast enough.

Justthisguy said...

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Tammy,
Happy birthday to you!

Now, bend over and take yer licks!

(We must all pretend that we are all still little kids here, you know. Thinkin' (like grownups) leads to drinkin', in my experience.)

WV: distrat. Stupid Google can't spell "distraught" correctly. I dunno about you folks, but I get more distraught at each birfday.

Skip said...

Hope you had a bichin' day!

wv-isking
How does it know?

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

"Doing a bit of reading on gamma ray bursts made me kinda put things in perspective."

Oh, too much. Too much f-ing perspective.

Ferret said...

Not that I was ever curious as to what happens to the sewage from the capitol building, but at least it's being put to some constructive use.

Jerry said...

"The exceedingly rare Civet Coffee has a strong taste and an even stronger aroma."

Ugh, happy birthday anyway.

Lissa said...

Yay! Happy birthday!!

Anonymous said...

The link Chalkie provided About WR104 was very scientific-y but ended with this:

Melott and others have speculated that gamma ray bursts might have caused mass extinctions on Earth. But when it comes to whether this pinwheel might pose a danger to us, "I would worry a lot more about global warming," Melott said.

That last line just made the whole article seem like more hand waving.

Imma think Mr. Smartypants Melott has him some government grants to protect.

Happy birthday to us.

DirtCrashr said...

I sometimes put coffee in my berry-smoothie... My birthday was last week, my sister's is today.

Drang said...

Knowing what a single cup of Kopi Luwak costs, I simply can't wait to run down to the beer store and pick up a bottle of this...

BGMiller said...

Tam,

I've always been able to gain a little perspective by looking up. The realization of just how old what I'm seeing is reminds me just how small I am.

BGM

wv: turowel - What you wrap around your head after one too many (i.e. one) Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters and wish to escape from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

Graybeard said...

I haven't heard of that beer, but the coffee made from those beans is called "crappucino". A similar name for the beer eludes me at the moment.

Happy Birthday to you, and many more to come.

Larry said...

Huh, if I found out I'd just drunk weasel droppings (and especially if I'd actually paid for it), I'd kind of be _hoping_ for a gamma ray burst to obliterate the world as I know it. Gack. But Happy Birthday, anyway!

Grayson said...

Happy birthday, Tam -
May you always drink cold and shoot hot.
Cheers!

Steve C said...

If your drunk enough to drink weasel poo beer, they need to cut you off.

Montie said...

Happy Birthday, Tam. Hmm, what Jerry quoted...who'da thunk.

However, I am always game for new experiences and would gladly have partaken in kind. After all, I have tried Dogfish Ale's Chicha beer maide from corn that has been chewed by OTHER PEOPLE so that the saliva could catalyze the breakdown of starches. It is then spit out to be collected up for the brewing process.

If I can ignore the fact of drinking of other people's spit surely I could ignore the drinking of Civit poop.