Monday, July 30, 2012

On Fanbois...

My second HK P7M8 and Ken Onion Random Task. (Photo by Oleg Volk.)
The topic of annoying internet pistol fandom came up on a gun forum the other day. I couldn't resist:
HK fanbois and girlz are the worst, by far.

They're worse than flag-waving 1911 yayhoos who mumble quotes from Jeff Cooper in their sleep, celebrate JMB's birthday every year (it's the day before mine, in case you were wondering,) and make goofy cracks like "If it was good enough for Sergeant York, it's good enough for me!"

They're worse than guys who show up at GSSF matches wearing Glock hats, Glock shirts, a Glock windbreaker, and getting their Glock pistol in its Glock gun rug out of the Glock range bag that was in the back of their SUV with the Glock sticker on the back window and when they reach in to get it, you can see the big "G" logo tattooed on their arm. (Back in the early days of Win 95, I had a Glock desktop theme. Complete with .wav files of Tommy Lee Jones from US Marshals.)

HK owners are like BMW drivers. They think that by buying some mass-produced piece of Teutonic consumer goods, they have demonstrated, not only their discerning taste and refinement, but also their superior skill as an operator of said consumer good, because the skill comes in the box with the gun. P7 owners are tied with Mk23 owners as the pinnacles of the breed. (I actually cried when financial reasons compelled me to sell my first P7...)
Sputtering denials from folks who don't spot the Easter Eggs in 5, 4, 3...

58 comments:

T.Stahl said...

Soooo true!

My HK is the gun I regret buying most.

Tasso said...

Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control. Two outta three ain't so bad.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Jennifer said...

*snicker*

Anonymous said...

Sister Mohra!

That Tam girl's is starting a fight in the school yard again!

Gerry

Pakkinpoppa said...

No, no, no....
You could have resisted, you just didn't....that's what you meant to say.

I shot an HK once. Bud of mine had a 45 USP he got a hellacious deal on, maybe 400 for an almost new piece?

It shot like...a Glock 21. Too big for my hands but recoil still managable, and it didn't convince me to buy one.

Guess I'm a discrete Glock fan. No tattoo, no windbreaker, no sticker on the vehicle...just a glock in the holster.

Joseph said...

Really? HK Fanbois are the worst? Worse than say Kel-Tec fanbois? (or is that fanboi?) At least HK's will go bang nearly every time (never owned an HK so that could just be a myth AFAIK)

RevolverRob said...

And once again, all of the auto-pistols get fanboi love. And us revolver guys are left sighing, all misty eyed, about how we wish people would realize the beauty and grace of guns with round things in the middle.

Or...maybe, I'm just happy most people shoot Glocks, 1911s, and H und Ks. So much so that I can afford to buy Colt, Smith, and Ruger revolvers by the trunk load.

-Rob

Devynsdad said...

Hey! I drive a BMW, dammit. It's even older than Tam's. Does that make me discerning and refined or just poor and pretentious?

Free-range Oyster said...

My favorite H und K fanboi ever:
http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2010/11/02/more-fun-with-trolls-furry-the-teutonic-panda-bear/

staghounds said...

That Mk. 23 character is a worse shot than I am.

Anonymous said...

The P7 is a pretty looking gun though.

Jason said...

I will never, ever, try to convince someone that the H&K P7M8 is the best pistol ever. They're not making them anymore, and even though I already have two - one basically new and stock, and one refurbed in Nill grips and Tripp hard chrome - I don't want the prices to go up. Those who don't get it, won't get it, and that just means more for me.

Also, while I'm on the topic of guns I wish other people would stop buying... pre-'83 Smith & Wesson revolvers suck. If it's got a tiny pin through the frame over the barrel and chamfered chambers, avoid. So do S&W 3rd gen auto pistols, especially the steel frame ones. Internal extractor SIG Sauer P220s aren't worth having. Ithaca 37s? Horrible. Some of them even lack disconnecters and are totally unsafe. And what is with those Swiss K31s, with their weird 7.5mm ammo? Why would you want something so goofy?

I'll never understand these irrational fanboys. They should learn to appreciate advanced modern weapons like the Mossberg 500 and Springfield XD.

Oleg Volk said...

Keltec shooters talk smack about their own guns on the KTOG forums...

Murphy's Law said...

My first duty pistol was an H&K P7M13...it was elegant and refined, like a Jedi Knight's light saber.

Yeah, I went the extra step into Star wars nerdism. So top THAT, anyone!

Kristopher said...

Mosin-Nagant fanbois fear their own guns.

Woodman said...

"Mosin-Nagant fanbois fear their own guns."

It's that damn bayonet that scares me. Especially after I learned it shoots high and left without it. I'm always worried I'll impale myself getting it out of the minivan at Wilbur Wright.

Robin said...

"HK owners are like BMW drivers."

Always driving down the road with their turn blinker on?

The Great and Powerful Oz said...

Mosin-Nagant fanbois have good reason to fear their guns! Particularly if they pull the trigger! One of these days some chiropractor is going to figure out that there's a profit to be made giving them away.

I'm a M1911 fan because my father really liked them and won a few competitions with them when he was in the Army Air Corps.

jed said...

No particular interest in HK, or whether they suck/don't.

But that sure is a purty knife. I like Onion's work.

Anonymous said...

Had a G-17...sold it...bought a P-30...love it....got close to getting a P7 several times.....but no

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm. I own two HK's (an HK91 abd an HK 45C USP). Both shoot wonderfully right out of the box. I also own an M1911A1, an XD .45ACP Service, and a Glock 19.

I embrace diversity.

Mike

Joel said...

H&K hates you and thinks you suck! 1911's the only gun to have, and JMB's a god!

(runs away giggling)

Farm.Dad said...

Its ok Tam , Ill let you shoot my p7 again this year at Blogarado

Sigman said...

RevolverRob, t

This extended experiment that Browning feller started had about run its course. I expect Colt to begin to retool to begin production on the Official Police, Python and Fitz Special Detectives soon. S&W will follow with a re-introduction of the 5 screw K frame.

Of course, when this metallic cartridge fad passes, 1851 Colt Navys and 1860 Armys will once again reign supreme!

1911Man said...

Somehow, even though I don't speak French and think it's the ugliest-sounding language ever invented, I snicker whenever I read "fanbois" because my "brain" prounounces it "fan-bwah". And quickly follows up with "pate du fanbois" for the doubletap accompli.

Old NFO said...

LOL, you just 'can't' let well enough alone can ya? :-)

Anonymous said...

Tim with the H-K was hilarious!!!! Thanks for posting that!

NotClauswitz said...

My wife drives an old '94 BMW, I have a Ford pickup truck - sometimes for hauling Easter eggs. other times for dirt bikes but that's getting more rare.

Angus McThag said...

Is the Zed Drei not, in fact, a product of Bayerische Motoren Werke?

Borepatch said...

Yes, but some of those Easter Eggs are made by Faberge ...

;-)

armedlaughing said...

I'm libertarian in these (and most) matters.
If it works, who cares?

I've had an HK91 - flawless.

A friend caught a burglar with his HK P7, then transitioned to the HK91 in his hall closet.

Different strokes, different folks!

gfa

Critter said...

HK's are too pretentious for me. my Ruger Speed Six would make me feel distinctly under dressed for the occasion.

fast richard said...

Tam, if you don't take your tongue out of your cheek once in a while, it's going to get stuck like that.

westofthewest said...

I was gonna ask about the aftermarket grips on that Kersh... nevermind.

I'm very fond of the P7 as well. One of the sweetest shooting pistols ever.

Dan said...

Now that is how you poke the bear!
Unfortunately reading the responses no one seems to have responded.

Go try that at Glock Talk. I'd love to read the responses there!

harqueb.us said...

I almost became an HK fanboi, but couldn't manage to do more than join the Cult of the P7.

...until it becomes too hot to touch after a couple magazines.

It's a shame your post didn't reference how HK can beat down their fans like a trailer park wife, but they'll always come back.

PhilaBOR said...

I love my staple gun. It shoots better than I do. But it spends most of it's life in the safe. The M&P 357 and Sig P238 are the working girls.

Will said...

Hmmm,
does having an unused, left-handed, Bianchi #19L for the H&K P7 qualify me for fanbois status?
I do lack the matching pistol, however. Actually, never had one to start with...

@ Murphy:
NJSP? Or, was it issued somewhere else, also?

Ed said...

"They think that by buying some mass-produced piece of Teutonic consumer goods, they have demonstrated, not only their discerning taste and refinement, but also their superior skill as an operator of said consumer good, because the skill comes in the box with the gun."

Someone has been watching old Starkist Tuna commercials too much.

Of course some refer to the tendency of buying a particular brand of mass produced Teutonic consumer goods as a SIGness.

RevolverRob said...

Sigman,

I relish that day. My 1851 Colt Navy London model is polished, loaded, and ready to go.

Able said...

"Glock hats, Glock shirts, a Glock windbreaker" - Check.

If that's the best they can do, then they're rank amateurs. I have a pair of Glock PJ's (in tacticool Black, No! Not with attached feet! I have a pair of cami ones with feet for cold, high-threat sleeping) and they go really well with my Sith bathrobe.

I, when I can in this socialist paradise, shoot either a SIG (P226) or a Browning (HP). So why the gear? Because try walking into a Starbucks in a Glock jacket and just watching everyone hyperventilating is FUN!!!

I'm afraid here that BMW has become synonymous with 'a-certain-colour-no-longer-allowed-to-be-uttered mans wheels' AKA pimpmobile rather than 'discerning taste and refinement'.

I always found the S+W fanbois to be the worst (running very quickly for cover).

DanH said...

Butbutbut my Mk23 has a threaded barrel and an O-RING!!11oneoneone!

Dwight Brown said...

Short shameful confession:

I did bring a cake to work one year in honor of John Browning's birthday.

(It was intended more as an excuse to have a little fun at the office than as actual JMB fan-boy-ism.)

(I enjoy doing things like that. Our Pi Day celebrations are epic.)

Murphy's Law said...

@ Will: It was another agency, one whose name I shall not type for fear of ruining my happy day. But the day that they took my P7M13 away was a sad day, made doubly so by the treachery they used to get it after I'd avoided turning it in and transitioning to the new one for so long. When they got it, I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

It was THAT epic.

Owen said...

You know, Cake for JMB day is a good idea. I have already instituted the Pi Day celebration

Kristopher said...

Woodman: Just drink the vodka the political officer gave you, and shout incoherently while you charge out of your van with your Mosin-Nagant.

You will make other folks at the range fear your bayonet. Not you.

BillB said...

I felt so bad about owning not one....but two PSP's

That I gave one to my youngest daughter when she turned 18

Bram said...

As a BMW owner, I've enter a higher level of BMW snottiness. If you drive a Bimmer WITHOUT the sports package and manual transmission - you are a wanna-be who paid a bunch of money for a fancy badge on a Camry.

I'm entitled to enjoy the sense of superiority my small-minded snobbery gives me. Also, my HK91 is way better than your .308 just because.

DirtCrashr said...

The farm-fresh Faberge eggs make a nice omelette, the pickup truck ensures that!

.45ACP+P said...

I once owned a P-7 PSP. When my son turned 21 I asked him, "what pistol would you like?" His unwavering answer: "Yours". Damit! I do get to visit it now and then.

Caleb said...

Wouldn't a Camry with a fancy badge on it just be a Lexus?

;-)

Dwight Browm said...

Owen:

Short shameful confession #2:

I wanted to get a 1911-shaped cake to celebrate the pistol's 100th birthday last year, but I could not find a custom baker locally who was willing to do that.

(I had to settle for one of those warehouse clubs that will "ink"-jet print photos on top of a cake for you.)

Tirno said...

Ooooohh, cake on JMB day!

A 1911 cake would be a bit difficult... what about a Ma Deuce cake? The double fudge chocolate cake receiver is kind of squarish, so that's not too hard. You can do the barrel with jelly rolls lined up end to end. And you'll need a belt of candy .50BMG trailing to an angelfood layer cake ammo box.

Scott J said...

Sorry but I think the double action revolver gets to lay claim to "light saber of the handgun verse".

It better fits "elegant weapon for a more civilized age".

But I'm one of those sidearm diversity sorts. In addition to my beloved revolvers I have two 1911s, an XD-9, a 75B and even one of those heathen Sigma SW9VE.

Alas the Glock 19 I owned half a year never captured my heart as I sold it to raise money to buy a CMP Garand.

Anonymous said...

Didn't Random Task get life for torturing some broad?

Anonymous said...

I had the P7m13 as a duty weapon for a DOE proforce and was on their shooting team. Shot thousands of rounds through it until the firing pin bushing would crack in half. That seemed to be the most common malfunction. It is a smooth and fast shooter with actual steel magazines that last for decades.

Anonymous said...

Thats the part that sticks out the back when you squeeze the cocker.

Jerry said...

I have an original Colt Mark IV, Series 70 that I bought as a duty weapon. There's some of those sweet young things in the Sig family that tempt me mightily but the "Fat Lady" has never disappointed me.