Sunday, August 26, 2007

A couple of things I don't understand...

1) You can abuse your significant other, do drugs, pump yourself full of 'roids, get busted on weapons charges, drive drunk, and remain a Jock Hero. As long as you're nice to doggies.

2) The MPAA apparently penalizes films that use "nontraditional sexual positions". I am at a loss as to how they determine "traditional" and "nontraditional." Is there a list somewhere? Can I get a copy?

26 comments:

minuteman said...

"...too many of the film's sex scenes violated the ratings board's unwritten rules (like the number of allowable pelvic thrusts, for example)"

How do I get the job of pelvic thrust counter?

rickn8or said...

"I am at a loss as to how they determine "traditional" and "nontraditional." Is there a list somewhere? Can I get a copy?"

You may already have one; any version of the Christian bible. You can try the book of Deuteronomy for a quick-and-dirty yes/no list, but I can save you some time; "procreation-yes", "fun-no".

"Too many pelvic thrusts"? My theory (not actual practice) is that she will let you know when you've run the thrust counter up against its' high-limit stop.

Ambulance Driver said...

To steal a line from Neil Simon, there are 52 positions.

I saw a dirty deck of cards once.

BryanP said...

I'm going to guess that missionary = okay.

And yeah, people in general get more upset over abuse of animals than they do other people. Understandable really. I like my dog (and cat, for that matter) more than I do most people.

If the worst thing a person ever did to me was occasionally take a dump on the rug I'd be a lot less grumpy.

Anonymous said...

I bet it's just one of those Kama Sutra things.

I would think the censors are okay with woman-on-top.

GeorgeH said...

Who cares what athletes do to themselves or the people foolish enough to hang out with them?

Damned few.

Who cares about doggies?

Almost everyone.

Anonymous said...

"You may already have one; any version of the Christian bible. You can try the book of Deuteronomy for a quick-and-dirty yes/no list, but I can save you some time; "procreation-yes", "fun-no"."

Yeah, the MPAA is just loaded with bible beaters. Hell, Hollywood's just cram-packed full of 'em.

Pffffft to whomping the fat, slow strawman. (this is the point you bring up a nation founded by Puritans, deftly ignoring the traditional religious zealotry of Europe and how for the Puritan argument to hold up, Europe would also have to be conservative.)

Tam said...

The Puritan's problem with the Old Country wasn't its zealotry, rather its lack thereof...

Read up on what a party town Geneva was during the early days of Calvinism?

Say said...

wikipedia knows all:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sex_positions

-SayUncle

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Yea, it's amazing what we DON'T punish people for in this country, and what we chose to butt into.

Anonymous said...

Tam said...
The Puritan's problem with the Old Country wasn't its zealotry, rather its lack thereof...

Read up on what a party town Geneva was during the early days of Calvinism?

2:04 PM, August 26, 2007


Uh, the same Calvinist administration in Geneva that burned not only "witches", but also those that had been charged of blasphemy and adultery, as well as threatened children with death (indeed, killing more than a few)?

Tam said...

Exactly, and the Puritans were... class?

Kristopher said...

The last witchburning in Europe was in the 1790s ... and it was committed by a mob of Calvinists in Scotland.

Cheery people ...

As for positions ... I guess doggy style accompanied by the 1812 overture is right out then?

Anonymous said...

Tam said...
Exactly, and the Puritans were... class?

3:09 PM, August 26, 2007


And Europe's suddenly conservative?

Les Jones said...

I guess the wheelbarrow position is right out.

Tam said...

"And Europe's suddenly conservative?"

That's not the point at all. The point is that, after the repression of Calvinist Zurich and Cromwellian England, Europe swung back in a direction that made rigid Puritans seek someplace they could practice prudery in peace and quiet. Like Massachusetts.

comatus said...

Jeeze, rickn80r, "read the whole thing." Help me here Tam, you can quote scripture...

Song of Songs: "My lover put his hand in at the hole, and my bowels moved." And the next verse does not say, don't do that.

The "Christian" bible goes right back to the Greek Dark Age, and covers a piece of about everything people have done (well, everything, actually, if they'd left the apocrypha in). You're going to have a hard time making a partisan screed out of it. If that one isn't kinky enough for you, I will gladly taunt you again.

Anonymous said...

"That's not the point at all."

I'm pretty sure I know what my point was. i.e. The traditional scapegoat for this kind of thing, isn't.

Tam said...

"'m pretty sure I know what my point was."

...and yet mine continues to elude you.

Anonymous said...

I see the point you're trying to make. However, it's basically historical masturbation and barely ancillary to my truck with rickn8or.

B&N said...

"I guess doggy style accompanied by the 1812 overture is right out then?"

two on one scene with Alex in A Clockwork Orange?

rickn8or said...

anonymous--

I have read it.

And it's "The Song of Solomon".

One book of poetry doesn't make up for the rest of the repression and mayhem that dominates the rest of the book.

Tam--Sorry to start a flame war on your blog. Let anonymous rant on, this is my last on the subject.

Anonymous said...

Presumably you mean comatus, and if this is a "flame war", there's some tender asses these days.

comatus said...

Anon, sorry you had to take my lick there. rick'or's not in a joking mood.

I'm going to go ahead and submit that there's every bit as much repression and mayhem in Gilgamesh and Homer as in the Bible. And the important life lessons you bring away from them are just as malleable. But I will leave off, lest, as Leviticus spake, there be an abomination.

Kristopher said...

"two on one scene with Alex in A Clockwork Orange?"

Someone at least got the reference.

Kinda sad when a dystopian SF movie suddenly becomes a documentary, innit?

dave said...

Anonymous:
Yeah, the MPAA is just loaded with bible beaters. Hell, Hollywood's just cram-packed full of 'em.

I highly recommend the documentary This Film is Not Yet Rated. Among other things, there are members of the clergy involved in the rating process. Not to mention how far from a representative sample of the population are the members of the ratings board.