Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Sometimes you wonder how they remember to breathe.

Cops at a Taxpayer-Funded Civilian Disarmament Scheme, er, "Gun Buyback" in Florida nearly soiled themselves at the sight of a fiberglass-and-aluminum transport tube for a TOW missile.

Not a missile.

Not even an empty missile launcher.

Just an inert tube used to carry a missile around. Kind of like the container in which you get posters mailed to you, only olive green with some numbers stenciled on it and it once upon a time held something even cooler than a Kill Bill poster. The only way it could possibly be dangerous is if you beat somebody with it, but it would take a fair amount of beating to get anything done since it has the density and drag coefficient of one of those big kiddie whiffle bats, only more awkward to hold. Actually, if you wanted to kill someone with it probably the easiest way to do so would be to take some heavy-duty scissors, snip off a piece, and stuff it down their throat in hopes that they choke.

But the news article said it was a weapon "designed to blow jets out of the sky".

I don't know about "blown out of the sky", but you could cut your finger on the aluminum end cap, I suppose, and die a horrible death if you weren't up to date on your tetanus shots, and if the end came while you were flying a jet, that would be bad. Or maybe you could run up into the cockpit and wave it around in front of the pilot's face, obstructing his view on short final and cause him to make like a Texas lawn dart.

Anyhow, remember: If it's green and tube-like, it's probably dangerous and is made for bringing down airliners. Better call the cops!


Anonymous said...

I wonder if Orlando would piece-out a pound of bulk flechettes by that criteria?

Man, I could get 'Boks for the whole clan that way!


Mr. Fixit said...

Maybe potato guns next? At least that plastic tube will actually launch something.

Mr Fixit

Anonymous said...

I wasn't aware TOW missiles were used in an anti-aircraft role.

Sigivald said...

Joseph: Well, against a hovering helicopter, or against a plane on the ground, sure...

I guess my empty M-72 tube at home is now an "anti-tank weapon", rather than "a useless tube of metal".

Anonymous said...

I read almost the same blurb in Pravda on the Potomac's free daily rag. I said the same damn thing. "No fscking way that the press got this one right."

So the press screws up again. Surprise, surprise. When will we see the retraction?

“Most bloggers wouldn’t last an hour under the journalistic quality control that a newspaper demands.” -Liz Garrigan,

Anonymous said...

Amazingly enough, for the Slantenal, they corrected themselves in todays online edition.