Thursday, July 05, 2012

Yesterday, and all my troubles seem so far away...

Yesterday was the Fourth of July. It was the Fourth of July everywhere around the world, but here in these United States of America, it was also Independence Day.

Now, traditionally, Independence Day is when good Wookie Suiters join with the loyalists of the party that's out of power and complain about how the current pack of fascist/commies are trashing everything good about this country and destroying the spirit of America: basically ruining baseball, taking a dump in the apple pie, and then wiping themselves on mom's apron. A day for long faces and mopery and essays ever-so-wittily titled "Dependence Day" and Jefferson knows I've been guilty of it myself before.

But, you know, yesterday I said "Screw all that."

Since I spend the other 364 days a year feeling doomed and teeing off on the sack of bastards that cling leech-like to the body politic and making 2012 American suburbia sound like 1972 Karl-Marx-Stadt in the DDR only with more cable channels, I took one day off to feel like an American: I rolled around in a pile of 30-round magazines like Scrooge McDuck and did some snapping-in with an AR-15; I mooned a picture of the queen of England; I read whatever the hell I wanted to, even a few pages in a book printed by the CPUSA wondering if they could beat the Army in a guerrilla war; I sang "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"; I ate a delicious beef filet about the size of my head, fresh off the grill, with a 'tater to match.

I went to bed feeling pretty darn 'Murrican, let me tell you.

Woke up and checked around the internets today and... holy cow... how did I miss this? So yesterday I did a bunch of stuff to make me feel American. Today I'm going to run to the post office... to make me feel human.

21 comments:

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I mooned a picture of the queen of England

Pics?

Duke said...

You want to do something to make you really feel patriotic ? go stand in line at the DMV (open carrying of course)

Tam said...

Duke,

Here in Indiana the only thing you do at the DMV anymore is get your driver's license. Everything else is done via the mail or online.

But I whine about America every day; yesterday I didn't. Yesterday I rode Paul Revere's horse without a license plate and felt American.

GBBL said...

I mentioned the Poor Farm on the GBBL. Was hoping to use the GBBL to help. To collect prayers, to help bring attention to Jeffro's plight.

Perhaps the GBBL isn't really doing anyone any good.

Tam said...

GBBL,

"Perhaps the GBBL isn't really doing anyone any good."

FWIW, you'r the 14th largest referrer to VFTP over the last month, ahead of such teeny blogs as Atomic Nerds, Home on the Range, and Bayou Renaissance Man and only slightly less than Facebook.

Now can we go back to worrying about the guy whose house burned down?

GBBL said...

Ouch. Thanks a lot.

Your blog getting links from GBBL really wasn't the point. I had hoped to help Jeffro, though.

I only know that the post got zero comments. I have no idea if anyone followed the link to the Poor Farm or not. I hope so, but I have absolutely no evidence that it helped to post.

perlhaqr said...

I rolled around in a pile of 30-round magazines like Scrooge McDuck

Got any pics of the resulting bruises? ;)

(The only 30 rd mags I have for anything are AK mags, and those fuckers are sharp in every direction!)

Good on you for taking a day off from feeling morose. I should try that every once in a while myself. Or at least update the prescription on my shit-colored glasses.

Who knows, I might even enjoy myself for a change. How weird would that be?

armedlaughing said...

NJT took my line!

Never eat anything bigger than your head.
Except maybe on July 4.

gfa

Pakkinpoppa said...

I took my son outside to watch the fireworks (I got a good view from the neighbor's yard, and traffic is...sweet on the way home!).

Unlike last year, he didn't get bored halfway through and want to watch Bob the Builder. Plus he thought they were pretty cool.

I've only got 2 30 round ar magazines, but then again, the ar I have is a lonely lower that I'll likely sell since I'm pretty committed to the ak platform.

Silver the Evil Chao said...

I have to say, reading that post about Poor Farm made me wish that I had tons of money...I'd send enough to him that he could build a damn fine new house...as is, I can't do shit...I hate that feeling. :(

Lasse said...

Tam, I sent some money to your paypal donate.

Please pass them on to The Poor Farm.

Cheers
Lasse In Sweden

Tam said...

Bless you, Lasse! Will do!

Wayne said...

Apparently you missed the cloud.

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/31249210/detail.html?source=wrtv

John said...

;~`)

RabidAlien said...

I'm in the same boat as Silver...always pains me to read stories like that and not be able to do a frikkin thing. I can still pray, though.

Old NFO said...

Done and done. Og also has an update/link

Jason said...

Tam
I am going to send some $ to your paypal account also so please pass it along if you can. Jeez, counting my blessings.

rickn8or said...

Tam, also sending some $$ your way to forward to Jeffro.

Would be more, but Bonnie (Squeaky Wheel Seeks Grease) had to go Memphis->St. Louis to say goodbye to her cat.

Tam said...

Jason, Rick,

Thank you. I'll see that it gets there. :)

perlhaqr said...

I also tossed some in the kitty. I hope it won't cause you to have to make a second trip. But... and I know this is pathetic... I don't even have a checkbook, and I know that I'll never get around to going to the post office to send off a physical money order.

Jeffro said...

Thanks, Tam. If you ever need help disposing of a body, you know who to call.