View From The Porch: Don't go near the water?

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Don't go near the water?

What gun for jellyfish?

19 comments:

Kevin said...: Not guns. Grenades.; 8:35 AM, March 04, 2010
Dwight Brown said...: This might be a practical application for the Taurus Judge line of revolvers.; 8:42 AM, March 04, 2010
Jay G said...: Kentucky rifle.

Because you need KY to take on the jelly...

/me hides; 8:47 AM, March 04, 2010
nbc said...: How about aNoiseless Electric Rifle?; 8:57 AM, March 04, 2010
Boat Guy said...: Kevin said it; grenades. Concussion grenades would be best if you have them. Quarter block of C4 would be an alternate. Come to think of it, some of the "less technological" navies around the world may still have some depth charges.; 9:40 AM, March 04, 2010
Anonymous said...: Clearly, you need a peanut gun.; 9:52 AM, March 04, 2010
Weer'd Beard said...: Yep, Hydrostatic shock is the way to go. Grenades and explosives will produce the best results. If you don't have that, whatever will send a bullet from the muzzle the fastest is better.

Of course once you kill the bastards their nematocys can STILL sting you.

So actually just diluting the ocean with vinegar or Urea would probably work better as it would denature the cells.

It would also likely collapse the global ecosystem...but you'll be happy to know as you die that our side won!; 10:26 AM, March 04, 2010
og said...: Marine gun. Urea is the only useful weapon.; 10:33 AM, March 04, 2010
Bob said...: Billy Connolly mentions these buggers in one his most hilarious routines.

I have to agree on the use of explosives, but if you insist on using guns, you're better off with a slow-moving lead slug, rather than a jacketed bullet from a high-powered rifle. The Mythbusters did an episode where they tested bullets fired into water, and both .223 and .30-06 slugs disintegrated in water, while slower-moving slugs from pistols remained intact. Best performance of all was from a Civil War Minié bullet.; 10:42 AM, March 04, 2010
Anonymous said...: HK P11, obviously.; 11:26 AM, March 04, 2010
Anonymous said...: Question: If just being grazed by a tentacle can cause near-instant death, how ya gonna get tweezer time?

Dunno if these critters frequent the waters of the east coast of Luzon, but I watched Filipino kids dive in, grab a jellyfish by the jelly and then eat the jelly as though it were yummy-tasty.

Art; 11:48 AM, March 04, 2010
Miguel said...: Since Tam asked "What Gun?" I must agree with Dwight and the use of the Taurus Judge; 12:53 PM, March 04, 2010
Anonymous said...: Stun gun.

Finally a market for all the stun gun dealers at the gun shows with their incessant "Bzzzzrt!"

Shootin' Buddy; 1:05 PM, March 04, 2010
Neutrino Cannon said...: Freaking Australia. I think the only non-poisonous animals there are saltwater crocodiles and great white sharks. Even the mammals are poisonous.

Having trodden across a beach covered in Portugese Man o' Wars, I have a strong respect for cnidarians. Some of 'em sure are tasty though.; 2:47 PM, March 04, 2010
Less said...: True story:

My wife and I were visiting relatives on Long Island and we decided to hit the beach (it was summer) for a BBQ, swimming, and ultimate frisbee.

We got there and started running toward the water when the lifeguard stopped us and warned us that there was a massive jelly fish migration - he pointed out and the water was thick with 'em!

Anyway, making the best of a bad situation, we played frisbee, BBQ'd and then the wife and I decided to take a long walk...

About 2 miles down the beach, my wife squeezes my hand in terror and in a panic whipsers, "is that guy wearing any pants?!"

...

Turns out the next beach over was a private (non-life guarded) nudie beach. They weren't in the water either, but, um, we always wondered how they found out. The stingy way.

And now for my answer to Tam's question:
Get the 12GA, wait on the beach with a cooler full of corona's, and start shooting the ocotopus when they start taking to land for their impending invasion. Who gives a crap about jellyfish when there are REAL threats from octopus!

(Yeah - I'm terrified of the water. More terrified of octopus... They are delicious, tho...); 3:03 PM, March 04, 2010
TimP said...: Uhm, explosives? You guys do realise that they continue to sting for hours or days after being killed? If you blow them up you now have lots of little, invisible stingers floating around (or worse flying through the air).

Also, Anonymous asked:
> If just being grazed by a tentacle can cause
> near-instant death, how ya gonna get
> tweezer time?

It's not near instant death, the web page is exagerating how dangerous they are. Being grazed by a single tentacle is just annoying (agonizing pain, and a short hospital visit type annoying). Most of the people who have died from them have had the almost invisible tentacles wrapped around their chest or neck or went into shock from the pain and drowned.; 7:12 PM, March 04, 2010
Kristophr said...: Lycra body suits.

I had to wear board shorts and a shirt while diving in the Phillipines because of the buggers ... I'm visiting OZ later this yaer, and bought a bodysuit ... even if my fat ass does look astoundingly ugly in lycra.

I can use it as a liner for my drysuit up here in the US, so it's not a total loss.; 1:19 AM, March 05, 2010
Jacopo said...: Since I read the "what to do if you get stung" bit as "remove testicles with tweezers as soon as possible and douse area with vinegar", I say aerial nuclear bombardment.

:-D; 7:36 PM, March 05, 2010
B Smith said...: Peanut-BUTTER cannon.Shoot for the strawberry-jellyfish first...; 3:47 PM, March 06, 2010