Friday, April 27, 2007

I hate low-rise jeans because...

a) They make me feel fat and old.

b) When you carry a full-size Government Model inside-the-waistband, the holster winds up sticking down past your butt. This is annoying when sitting.

18 comments:

NeoNietzsche: said...
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NeoNietzsche: said...
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Anonymous said...

I hate low-rise jeans because....they accentuate my hops holder and make me look like Madonna when she did "Lucky Star".

NeoNietzsche: said...
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pdb said...

Sounds like it's time for mom jeans.

C'mon, what's more important? Fashion or tacticality?

Tam said...

Considering I'm old enough to be Scarlett's mom, the description doesn't faze me. ;)

Fashions are cyclical. Low-rise hip huggers lasted a decade in the '70s and then faded away. Ms. Johansson's photo tells me that this current trend is hopefully tottering towards the tarpits, too.

Tam said...

PS: Belt loops better not shrink below 1.5", though, or I'll mutiny and start buying boy's jeans.

LabRat said...

Funny, Himself got into an argument about this elsewhere just yesterday...

Some Guy: The majority of non-$10 mens jeans are lowrise these days. Get with the times.

Mr. LabRat: Levi 560 relaxed fit: Room for your gun AND your weapon.

Some Guy: Lucky Brand: All the ladies will follow you drooling.

Mr. LabRat: Attracting women is a luxury for when the workin' is done. If you've got the energy to worry *that* much about it, you weren't working hard enough, and because of that the women worth worrying about won't be interested in the first place.

Some Guy: I sit at a desk all day. if I ever get a job driving a front end loader, I'll wear levi's

Mr. LabRat: I sit at a desk to bring a paycheck too. That isn't where the work happens though.

Some Guy: *derisive snort* My house was built in 2001 and I'm happy with it and my yard. Don't have much work to do at home either.

Mr. LabRat: *shrug* If it weren't for stagnant water, mosquitoes wouldn't breed either.

Other Guy: Mr. LabRat just isn't manly enough to wear lowrise jeans.

Mr. LabRat: Last I checked, the notion of "manly" didn't include pants that look like you're too simple to operate a belt as part of the design.

Some Guy: Huh? I guess I'm not getting the belt thing.

Mr. LabRat: Lowrise jeans always look like the wearer needs to hitch up his pants, and if the pants need hitching up, the wearer probably needs a belt. Only reason I can see to need a belt and not have one is that they're too complicated to operate for some folk, and that I'm explaining this to a low-rise jeans proponent seems to bear out my theory.

Personally, I already shop in the mens' section- they're the only ones who tell you what size the pants actually are with no guesswork involved.

TD said...

Did somebody say Scarlett?!?

Low-rise jeans just don't work if the woman wearing them actually has hips and a butt; since we need the latter, the former should go away.

Anonymous said...

Neonietzsche wrote:

"Personally, I hate low-rise jeans because....the hair on my lower back keeps growing out and hiding my thong."

Okay, despite the commenter...

...that's funny right there. I don't care who ya are, that's funny.

TBeck said...

"Personally, I hate low-rise jeans because....the hair on my lower back keeps growing out and hiding my thong."

I braid my back hair. It keeps it out of the way. Thong? Who wants a rectal bisectomy? Commando is the only way to go.

Those scientists like to claim that male-pattern baldness is hereditary. That's bull. I've got plenty of hair in my jeans.

NeoNietzsche: said...
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Anonymous said...

The whole point of enjoying a good IPA is the audible flatulence that soon comes afterward.....why do you think Tam sits outside on the porch? :D

NeoNietzsche: said...
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Anonymous said...

So she doesn't accidentally toast the cat.... :D

(j/k Tam....)

NeoNietzsche: said...
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NeoNietzsche: said...
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ropinator said...

then don't buy them :D