Friday, April 27, 2007

I hate low-rise jeans because...

a) They make me feel fat and old.

b) When you carry a full-size Government Model inside-the-waistband, the holster winds up sticking down past your butt. This is annoying when sitting.
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18 comments:

Avalanche said...
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8:39 AM, April 27, 2007
Avalanche said...
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8:53 AM, April 27, 2007
Anonymous said...

I hate low-rise jeans because....they accentuate my hops holder and make me look like Madonna when she did "Lucky Star".

9:28 AM, April 27, 2007
Avalanche said...
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10:12 AM, April 27, 2007
Anonymous said...

Sounds like it's time for mom jeans.

C'mon, what's more important? Fashion or tacticality?

11:23 AM, April 27, 2007
Tam said...

Considering I'm old enough to be Scarlett's mom, the description doesn't faze me. ;)

Fashions are cyclical. Low-rise hip huggers lasted a decade in the '70s and then faded away. Ms. Johansson's photo tells me that this current trend is hopefully tottering towards the tarpits, too.

11:36 AM, April 27, 2007
Tam said...

PS: Belt loops better not shrink below 1.5", though, or I'll mutiny and start buying boy's jeans.

11:39 AM, April 27, 2007
Anonymous said...

Funny, Himself got into an argument about this elsewhere just yesterday...

Some Guy: The majority of non-$10 mens jeans are lowrise these days. Get with the times.

Mr. LabRat: Levi 560 relaxed fit: Room for your gun AND your weapon.

Some Guy: Lucky Brand: All the ladies will follow you drooling.

Mr. LabRat: Attracting women is a luxury for when the workin' is done. If you've got the energy to worry *that* much about it, you weren't working hard enough, and because of that the women worth worrying about won't be interested in the first place.

Some Guy: I sit at a desk all day. if I ever get a job driving a front end loader, I'll wear levi's

Mr. LabRat: I sit at a desk to bring a paycheck too. That isn't where the work happens though.

Some Guy: *derisive snort* My house was built in 2001 and I'm happy with it and my yard. Don't have much work to do at home either.

Mr. LabRat: *shrug* If it weren't for stagnant water, mosquitoes wouldn't breed either.

Other Guy: Mr. LabRat just isn't manly enough to wear lowrise jeans.

Mr. LabRat: Last I checked, the notion of "manly" didn't include pants that look like you're too simple to operate a belt as part of the design.

Some Guy: Huh? I guess I'm not getting the belt thing.

Mr. LabRat: Lowrise jeans always look like the wearer needs to hitch up his pants, and if the pants need hitching up, the wearer probably needs a belt. Only reason I can see to need a belt and not have one is that they're too complicated to operate for some folk, and that I'm explaining this to a low-rise jeans proponent seems to bear out my theory.

Personally, I already shop in the mens' section- they're the only ones who tell you what size the pants actually are with no guesswork involved.

1:34 PM, April 27, 2007
Anonymous said...

Did somebody say Scarlett?!?

Low-rise jeans just don't work if the woman wearing them actually has hips and a butt; since we need the latter, the former should go away.

2:31 PM, April 27, 2007
Anonymous said...

Neonietzsche wrote:

"Personally, I hate low-rise jeans because....the hair on my lower back keeps growing out and hiding my thong."

Okay, despite the commenter...

...that's funny right there. I don't care who ya are, that's funny.

6:13 PM, April 27, 2007
Anonymous said...

"Personally, I hate low-rise jeans because....the hair on my lower back keeps growing out and hiding my thong."

I braid my back hair. It keeps it out of the way. Thong? Who wants a rectal bisectomy? Commando is the only way to go.

Those scientists like to claim that male-pattern baldness is hereditary. That's bull. I've got plenty of hair in my jeans.

7:37 PM, April 27, 2007
Avalanche said...
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8:02 PM, April 27, 2007
Anonymous said...

The whole point of enjoying a good IPA is the audible flatulence that soon comes afterward.....why do you think Tam sits outside on the porch? :D

9:25 PM, April 27, 2007
Avalanche said...
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9:52 PM, April 27, 2007
Anonymous said...

So she doesn't accidentally toast the cat.... :D

(j/k Tam....)

10:56 PM, April 27, 2007
Avalanche said...
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11:12 PM, April 27, 2007
Avalanche said...
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8:11 AM, April 28, 2007
Anonymous said...

then don't buy them :D

9:59 AM, April 28, 2007

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