When I returned, discussion had turned to events in Ukraine. Metrocon David Brooks thought that America should show willing by providing the Ukrainian military with arms and other supplies, and that this would bolster the ability of the gutted Ukrainian military to be more than a speed bump and perhaps send a signal that Ukraine would resist further expansion.
This sent David Gregory into a spasm of pearl-clutching:
"But here's the thing. Nobody wants a shooting war in Ukraine. If you're this administration, you don't want that. Why? Prospect of civil war, prospect of giving a cause célèbre to the Russian leader. What you want, the message, is to have a strong, prosperous Ukraine. That's the real tough message to Vladimir Putin, isn't it?"(emphasis emphatically mine) This pretzeled logic caused Alan Greenspan's main squeeze to emote in harmony:
"It is. And a couple of things, our Congress has still not voted even on the basic Ukrainian economic package because of a dispute over the I.M.F. unrelated. That sends a terrible signal."Yeah, being prosperous is a much better way to thwart foreign aggression than having tanks; just ask the Kuwaitis. I mean, doesn't every New Yorker know that having hundred-dollar bills hanging out of your trouser pockets in a bad neighborhood is the best way to ward off a mugging? (And the land between Berlin and Moscow is pretty much history's definition of a bad neighborhood..)
For Vishnu's sake, were these people hitting a bong in the green room during commercial breaks?
I left the TV room shaking my head in disbelief and told Roomie what Gregory had just said, and her reply was perfect:
"What color is the sky up his ass?"I came back in at the tail end of some folderol about NCAA athletes and how they don't have any money for food. That must be horrible; you can look at the front four of any Division I defense and see they're practically wasting away. I think one panelist thought they should be allowed to join the SEIU.
Then David Gregory said "Next, Andrea Mitchell is going to come back. She talks to Former President Jimmy Carter. And he doesn't mince words about his relationship with President Obama." and the only thing that saved the television was Rule Four and the fact that it would cost money to replace it.
I love you guys, but not enough to listen to Jimmy Carter before beer o'clock. Now that we've seen unfiltered Jimmy, Billy's alcoholism makes a whole lot more sense.