This morning's Top Ten stories on CNN.com:
1. Fears of violence as economy tanks
"OMG! We're all gonna die! There's no hope! We need change!"
2. 'Bradley effect' could affect vote
"Don't be a racist. Vote for Obama. You don't want to feel like a racist, do you?"
3. GOP blasts stimulus measures
"Evil Republicans don't want to buy your vote!"
4. Army denies puppy return to U.S.
"Get the Army out of Iraq. With its puppies. Evil GOP!"
5. Polar bear slips into zoo moat
6. Palin aides warned, report says
7. Leader breaks podium, gets laughs
8. McCain speaks out about Lewis
9. Mob mansion may hold more secrets
10. Deadly wildfires rage across L.A.
"zomg we're all gonna die!"
*Sigh* Sometimes you wonder why you bother getting out of bed and re-entering a world full of idiots that are, for the most part, illegal to shoot.