Wednesday, October 29, 2008


I have never in my life been so ready for an election season to be over and done with. I can hardly wait for the Messiah to be sworn in so unicorns will start farting rainbows on the front lawn of my gold house and I can run them over with my rocket car on the way to my governmentally-guaranteed middle class job.

(Oh, and the TeeWee will blessedly shut up with the ads for at least a whole three months until we start building up for the 2012 campaign season. The steady drone of bullshit has me boxing my own ears out of frustration.)


Carteach said...


Oh.... I remember those things. Moving pictures, sounds, stuff like that.

I know there's one in the house SOMEPLACE..... one day I'll look for it and see if it works.

the pawnbroker said...

oh, wtf...why wait?

palin '12...regardless of the current election outcome.


Y. said...


I guess you can't help it, being ancient*. Really.. what of interest is there? On TV?

I have never in my life been so ready for an election season to be over and done with. I can hardly wait for the Messiah to be sworn in so unicorns will start farting rainbows on the front lawn of my gold house and I can run them over with my rocket car on the way to my governmentally-guaranteed middle class job.

The sensible thing is to give up watching the political theatre ... The idiots are always going to elect the guy who's the best bullshitter and has the best campaign..

I have a suggestion.. you seem to be interested in science fiction. There's a Canadian writer who has pretty intriguing novels. No intimidating invented physics as in Egan, just some plausible invented neurology:). And it's all refreshingly dark.
.. All available either normally, that is from Amazon, or just free of charge from his website.

Oh. His name is Peter Watts..

*anyone born before 1980..

Anonymous said...

Can't believe any rational person with guns in the house still has an intact TV set.

Anonymous said...

Or, hell, any rational person with a rolling pin, a golf club, a polo mallet, or an open window...

Sean Galt said...

Holy electoral batfrak, was THAT ever a vivid mental image.

I will be in line to poach rainbow farting unicorns; I have the appropriate habanero BBQ sauce for rack of unicorn set aside.

verification: unwaing.

Not sure if that is 1) ignoring the scale when you are fat, or 2) the sound a UN helmet makes after a 168 grain impact.

Roberta X said...

A) They are my TV sets where Tam lives.
B) I have to have them for my work.

Tirno said...

In yet another example of the mainstream media falling down on the job, rainbow-farting unicorns must be fed fresh human flesh. They're picky eaters, too... they only want the lean firm flesh of your hardworking productive members of society. The flesh of the unproductive is flabby, and tainted with the reek of the jelly-beans that fall out of the rainbows.

The unicorns are not equipped with the teeth to tear the flesh from the middle class, so they must rely on their fell servants, the politicians, to butcher us for their consumption.

The rainbow-farting unicorns are, in fact, Lovecraftian horrors in equine form. "Feed us", they ooze to their enthralled collectivist followers, "And we will eat you last."

And at last, we have the link between the Obama campaign and the unspeakable horrors that sleep undying in R'lyeh.

(Hmmm... too much?)

Anonymous said...

I've got the same feeling about this election that I did about the '94 election. I think the values voters are gonna bite the pundits right on the place where the unicorn makes the colors.

Then there will be a enormous wailing and gnashing of teeth as the "Great Depression" hits 49.8% of the electorate. We'll also be treated to four more years of totally incoherent ravings from Keith Olbermann.

Palin '10, because the stars are right.

The Captain said...

The election being over will be good for the environment, too. I don't even want to guess how many trees have been slain to fill my frakking mailbox with bullshit.

Six more days...

Anonymous said...

Stop by my place in the morning. I think you'll feel better.

Or not.


Anonymous said...

Fuck that. I can't wait for the election to be over, but I am not conceding anything.

That fucker isn't in office yet. The actual voting still has to happen.

Tam said...


I'd never be happier to lose a $5 bet in my life, but I fear the fix is in on this one. :(

alath said...

Love tirno's chanelling of Lovecraft above. A thousand-year reign of The Annointed One is a fearsome prospect in many ways.

Yet I also wonder what calamities await us should McCain somehow manage to extract another unlikely against-all-odds comeback from his hindquarters. Would it be less apocalyptic than The Inevitable Ascension of The One? I'm not so sure. Great masses of folk have been told that The One has an insurmountable lead, and that the only way he can be defeated is by the institutional racism of the vast right-wing conspiracy. Now, the utopian rainbow-farting unicorn crowd may not be much of a threat, but they're not The One's only constituency. Inhabitants of the urban underworlds, violent felons, and rabid sociopaths are also important Obama constituencies. I would not be surprised to see massive civil unrest if somehow The One is cheated out of his Rightful Destiny.

Y. said...

You people are .. paranoid. Nothing substantial is going to change. Obama, like McCain, is just a face that the people who matter, that is those in the top %1 ( who control ~38% of all wealth) chose to run for election..

Why do you think the Messiah's campaign has effectively anonymous online contributions?

Sure.. it enables *anyone* to pour in some cash, but mainly it's just more convenient than the older way
It just breaks open all the loopholes McCain-Feingold closed..

There won't be any socialism, unless those people & large companies want it. Since America is a meritocracy(heard this many times, must be the truth...), those people know what's good for the rest of you. Taxcuts, for example..

They can't possibly be 'socialists'...

Wait... the bailout..!?

Uhm. Sorry. You people are really screwed. Time to break out the S&W and start playing Russian Roulette :)

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Hell with shooting the TeeWee sets. Shoot the first bastard who runs an ad.

Anonymous said...

...and who SHOULD be rioting in the streets?

Unfortunately, it won't be the law abiding [mostly] folks like us -- that will have the most cause to riot, when The Evil Empire takes us all on a tour thru ProgressiveHell.

Is there a website yet, that is entirely devoted to the formation of a Non-Violent Civil Gun Rights Group? -- [feel free to provide a title and acronym that is euphonious and catchy, so the media can remember it].

"A Nation of Cowards" and that author's exploration into Public Political Musclehood as a Realpolitik, currently strike me as a way to counteract the nausea that seems to affecting nearly all my friends and correspondents.

There are even rumours from the UP of Mich and other barren wastelands of gun owning populace, that the ol' Very Right Militia of a decade ago has new life. with a difference. The word is now, that it is better to die fighting than to live under an oppressive regime.They are 'gonna take the guns anyway, so MAKE Da Man work for it." That may be an emotionally satisfying thot for a downtrodden group with no hope.

However, as independent as the general gun owning demographic appears to be, a task much harder than going out in hail of Gun Police Glory, is to start and execute a single purpose grassroots organization via the 'Net that can launch some million or three gunowners right onto the National Mall across from the White House.

Lunch them repeatedly and frequently, AS NEEDED to turn Washington DC into a non-violent gridlock. In shifts. For weeks.

Can't be done? Not as satisfying as brooding murderous thots and wishful thinking about our battalions of rugged individuals greasing off the axxholes en masse?


However, political organization of the masses, on a scale that isn't easily 'spun' by the Leftie Gobbels has some real merit. To succeed in manipulating the manipulators, the number one rule of such movement might be to never ever speak with or recognize the media as individuals, by our individuals.

Just like the lefties, make the sure that any woids from the massed peasants at such events, are granted only in carefully controlled and media savvy 'opportunities'.

Sigh. I guess nightmare dreams of wholesale mayhem are SOOOOO much more satisfying than the hard, unglam, unarmed, financially monstrous task of an actual real live civil rights movement -- that will boycott, march, & discomfort it's enemies.

Does one want hazardous duty? Just picket the Joyce Foundation in Downtown Daly Chicago. Does one want hardship? Pony up the thin edge of money we already have to live on, for transportation and lodging, to a place with great museums and lousy government.

For us to paralyze the Mother of Lies and the full time skilled propaganda machine, and all the full time skilled media flacks, and all the full time skilled organizers, and all the full time celebrity donors, and etc -- would cost our us our normal lives, fortunes and comfort with no certain outcome.

Much more satisfying to think of Glory and Blood, eh? Well, it certainly is for me, anyway. ;~`) Having once paid a steep business price, in time and money to hand Gingrich power, and then to watch him promptly empty it all out in one full-auto burst of stupid futility was a salutary political experience. I'm not eager to serve another 'rotation'.

How'emsoever, after several LD phone conversations with gun-friends across this country, the Disturbance in the Force and the sense of a looming Obamanation, is certainly a shared one.

We have great gunrights groups and sites and blogs and smart as a whip peoples. But, by our nature -- I beleive -- we are not lemmings that eagerly swarm to gether for a Common Cause, f'r instance. We already HAVE lives; interesting and productive lives. Why add just one more thing?

My guess is that we will have to or perish as a culture. The folks who must have "CAVSES" will never leave us in peace, until we convince them that for the next generation or so, WE can mount a scary-big crowd of NO FOOLIN' folks right into their front yards, on cue -- and maintain them there.

Mass Movement. Steal it right from the Comintern playbook. Develop cadre and a simple unified message, with obtainable clearly defined goals. Deliver itit to a large auditorium in the heart of your local campus full of Needniks. Do it, over and over, until WE are visible. Very visible. Then do state capitols. National Capitols. The Joyce foundation's Front Door -- we'll need bail bondsmen and lawyers by the platoon load for that one.

And, I suppose that there may be a Website or Blog that is already saying this, and is dedicated to that one thingy thot, and is developing an on-line staff, and etc. Mind you -- JUST this one thing. A new thing. OUR THING, for the mass mobilization of the whole tribe, Komrade.

BTW, i worked in the old Jeep plant in Tool-edo,with workers who had marched unarmed across a dinky little bridge, up to the muzzles of the National Guard machineguns in the 1930's Autolite strike. "We didn't know if they were going to shoot us or not." It'sa nice to have more options than that, eh, Louie?

John the Red,
quelling his daily political nausea, with the instantly published word,
from the West End of Lake Erie

theirritablearchitect said...

"Can't believe any rational person with guns in the house still has an intact TV set."

Jeezis, has it been hard to avoid it. Both the shooting of the TeeWee and, of course, the got-damned effin' political commercials on it. Can't explain how close it's been on a few occasions.

The worst offenders, the A-holes who profess to, "have created [fill in the blank #] jobs."

Please, exactly how did you accomplish this incredible feat, Your Honorable Asswipe?

Are people really this stupid?

theirritablearchitect said...

"My guess is that we will have to or perish as a culture. The folks who must have "CAVSES" will never leave us in peace, until we convince them that for the next generation or so, WE can mount a scary-big crowd of NO FOOLIN' folks right into their front yards, on cue -- and maintain them there."

Yes, but this " NO FOOLIN'" crowd you are talking about isn't going to be able to get it done with the 60's style, peacenik sit-in that you are proposing.

Fuck that shit! I'm not going to stand before The Man in court, or serve time behind bars, nor apologize to those spineless, ignorant sons-a-bitches!

You want to know how to get their attention, John, shoot the bastards, right between the fucking eyes!

Ken said...

I don't mean to wet-blanket any idea with potential, and apologize in advance for so doing, John.

Let me point out, however, that smart people have been noodling the Million Gunowner March idea for nearly five years (that I know of -- heck, it could be longer), and haven't yet solved one problem: It is comparatively trivial for moles and provocateurs to ensure that it won't be nonviolent, and that our side will be blamed.


Crucis said...

Whatever y'all think, VOTE! It's not over 'til it's over. BO is running scared and if you've followed the trends, with good reason.

All we can do is Vote and hope it's enough.

Verfication word: pationie

What the #&%@)% is that?!?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps your TeeWee has a mute button on its remote control? Mine do. In fact, I have literally worn out the mute buttons on several such controls. Muting the goddamned thing is the aural equivalent of looking away. When I watch the TeeWee, I don't watch commercials, and I don't hear them either. It's a reflex now, as I can anticipate a commercial and hit "mute" before I hear any of it.

Try it. You'll like it.

Hmmm ... Perhaps a mute button as the trigger of a 1911?