Friday, October 10, 2008

Wow.

This just in from the Ministry of Irony:

In a Mark Morford column containing the following breathless claim about Barry O...
Because the truth is, the notion of an Obama presidency yields many gifts. Foremost: a refreshed intellectual climate, a far higher quality of basic discourse. Squinting and bumbling and "is our children learning" are out, articulation and oratory nuance are in. Out: aw-shucks "go with my gut" Joe Six-pack pseudo-cowboy Jesus-says. In: thoughtfulness, polysyllabic words, sentences with complicated construction and meaning.
...we find the following set of phrases broken on the wheel of tortured sentence structure:
No longer will it be tolerable when chatting up a sweet young thing or an older tasty thing at a bar or fetish dungeon or Whole Foods cheese aisle and casually toss in a reference to Obama's solar initiative or the multifaceted cultural upheaval happening in China or India, to watch his eyes glaze over as he shrugs and stares at his shoes and mumbles something about getting baked while lubing his skateboard and watching Xtreme Motocross on ESPN2.
Sweet zombie Jesus! Physician, heal thyself.

(Yeah, I know my monthly trip to go see what asshattery Morford's up to now will eventually cause me to stroke out, but I'm addicted to the "irritainment", as MattG so cleverly termed it.)

20 comments:

JAFO said...

An Obamaramadingdong presidency will raise the level of intellectual discourse, hmm?

You wouldn't know it from the hordes that present it to the rest of us.

Jay G said...

Two words: Buy. Ammo.

OA said...

Why is the ghost of Milton cackling?

Dylan Bruns said...

Obama is the very definition of "aw shucks" hucksterism. His followers aren't interested in discourse, they just call the rest of us racists. When he fails to do all the crap he promises, they'll turn on him.

theirritablearchitect said...

My doctor has repeatedly told me to limit my 'irritainment'.

I'm not making that up, either.

OldTexan said...

Is the old phrase 'gag a maggot' adequate do describe this big pile of festering feces. Obama is going to bring up the level of discourse in our nation just like he did amongst his peeps in Chicago?

Yeah, that is almost gonna happen and yes, I have one gun this week and a box of ammo every day when I drove past any store that sells the stuff.

Keep your powder dry and that sort of stuff. I wanted to say don't shoot till you see the whites of their eyes but that might be taken as racist. You might say that but I never could.

Anonymous said...

And now we're all a little less.

Gee, thanks Tam. ;)

Don Gwinn said...

There are states where the Grammar Police shoot people on sight for less than that.

staghounds said...

No matter what The One does, the believers won't blame him. They need to believe more than they need the truth, or good government, or liberty, or anything else. They are like beaten wives.

And if that's an example of Mr. Morford's chatting-up skills, he'd better be reeeeeeeeeeally pretty.

And focus on deaf targets.

Cossack in a Kilt said...

Did he really say, umm, America's "darker" demons?

TBeck said...

If you would really like to see some truly awe-inspiring, high-minded discourse, check out the Wall Street Journal blogs. Now, one would assume that someone reading the journal would have a a minimum standard economic and written literacy.

One would be wrong. The same Kos-tards that pollute the rest of the Internet have managed to infiltrate the sacred virtual halls of blueblooded finance.

Dear me, what are those things coming out of her nose?

Spaceballs!

global village idiot said...

"Battered wife" nailed it. No clue or care to learn where that drivel was posted, but it sounded like the sort of thing a pre-teen girl would say about her crush who's running for class president. The fact it's written by a guy made it way creepier than it already was.

I've noticed this, though. I rarely run into "radical right wing pansies" or "Neocon milquetoasts." All the sissies, it seems, lean left. Which is not to say that all leftists are sissies. I actually have a lot of respect for Studs Terkel, who is about as pink as they come, but not afraid of standing his ground.

Anyone else notice that? It's the most annoying aspect of Liberals. They attract all the sissies.

gvi

OrangeNeckInNY said...

Over at Voodoo Medicine Man, via Ambulance Driver, the term "...had three neurons: one was infected, the second is infarcted, and the third is inhibitory."

Go read. It will make your blood boil: http://voodoomedicineman.blogspot.com/2008/10/entitlement-zones.html

heh. word verification: donfuxd

alath said...

"When he fails to do all the crap he promises, they'll turn on him."

No, they won't

For the True Believers, this is something between a conspiracy theory and a religion.

Anything good happens in the next four years - pleasant weather, local team wins the Super Bowl, stock market recovers - and it will be chalked up to The Obama's genius.

Anything bad happens - up to and including gross incompetence in the Oval Office - and it will be just more evidence of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Or Bush's fault.

Matt G said...

Yeah, 'cuz we had a renaissance o thought and speech back when the founding member of he Little Rock Toastmasters Club was president for 8 years. For all his bad points, that Slick Willie sure did tawk purty. Thank my lucky stars I lived through his terms, so's now I can think about sumpin' other'n trying to set my recorder to get the next episode of Jerry Springer.

JAFO said...

can anyone explain to me why it is always the "intellectual elite" that runs society into the ground, ie: communism/socialism/Political correctness?

Or am I just being bitter?

Ted said...

Hokey smokes. No malfunction in his smug bubble-worldview shields.

After the election, everyone will have to copy Obama's style of intellectual discourse.

Start practicing saying "um" every third word.

docjim505 said...

Because the truth is, the notion of an Obama presidency yields many gifts. Foremost: a refreshed intellectual climate, a far higher quality of basic discourse. Squinting and bumbling and "is our children learning" are out, articulation and oratory nuance are in. Out: aw-shucks "go with my gut" Joe Six-pack pseudo-cowboy Jesus-says. In: thoughtfulness, polysyllabic words, sentences with complicated construction and meaning.

One of the many things I detest about the left is their pathetic attempts at intellectualism, as though they are soooooo much smarter than us despite the fact that, when push comes to shove, their world view is based on what "feels" right to them rather than on what is demonstrated by historical example or plain logic. What's scary is their belief that Obama, by his mere PRESENCE in the Oval Office, will somehow make the country oh-so much better. And they mock those of us who believe in God...

This is also very irritating:

Be not like [conservatives]. Be generous, forgiving, compassionate. Offer them a cup of coffee, a well-thumbed copy of "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again," an empathetic pat on the back as you pass by on your way to Burning Man to pick up your fallen hopes and your fire and your newly grinning gods. For they are as lost as the undead, doomed to forever wander the cold purgatory of their shell-shocked fears.

First of all, the f***ing liberal who gives me "an empathic pat on the back" is liable to get a punch in the nose. Second of all, this half-wit cites ANDREW SULLIVAN, the poster boy for unhinged looniness.

Grrrr...

"Irritainment" indeed.

Anonymous said...

O'fer Chrissake.

I AM gonna barf!!! The resurgence of pure brain-rotted Liberalism is causing a nausea-level stench that only diseased and decaying bio-matter can generate.

Where's a herd of people lovin' griz b'ars, for the obnoxious bastards to embrace???

The truth is that these alleged people hate real humans, such as thee and me. Their ideal day involves being a functionary of absoulute power in some shitheel Lib-theocracy.

The end of free history will see them as a softskinned squirming meat species gobbled alive, by the New Planetary Morlocks.

From their weithing corpes, as they are tossed into the Great Compost Heap, the last words will be to blame the bitter people who clung to their guns and god. Those stubborn 'self-defense maniacs' are the REAL cause of failure for Grand Theory of Earthly Secular Paradises.

Frankly, it would do my heart a great deal of joy to see their bleeding heart heads on pikes, en masse -- metaphistically [sic] speaking of course. ;~`)

It's the least one could wish for victim mentality folks who are crusading to make the world safe for human predators.

JAFO said...

People-

read "The Last Centurion" by John Ringo.

I do believe you will enjoy it. :)