Wednesday, October 08, 2008

You might need to eat less...

...if someone else has to bring you the food because you can no longer heave your bulk out of bed.

Look, I think the culture is a little over-obsessed with thin. After I reached a certain age, and my metabolism would no longer allow me to down a whole pizza with impunity while the needle on the scale stayed motionless, I decided that I'd much rather give up Size 6 than give up steak and beer. But there comes a point where it's unhealthy, you know? And that point is somewhere long before you're immobile in bed and paramedics have to take a wall out of the house to load you into a pickup truck.

The worst part about the story is that he'd been bedridden for four months. That meant that for four months he had someone bringing him the Twinkies and Coca Cola; an unindicted co-conspirator, if you will.

6 comments:

BobG said...

If you're too fat to get out of bed and make a sandwich, obviously you don't need it.

Anonymous said...

I see fatties like this all the damn time. I can deal with people who are overweight; that's part of life. But I consistently have to take care of people who are 100, 200, 300 pounds overweight. It affects breathing in seriously bad ways; having 400 pounds of fat compressing your chest makes it mighty hard for the lungs to move.

Firehand said...

I remember reading something by a nurse who'd had a lot of experience treating morbidly obese people, and up to a weight/mobility point almost all of them had people helping them; after that point,ALL had people bringing them food. And doing nothing about the situation, including saying "STOP EATING SO MUCH, LARDASS!"

Co-conspirators indeed.

Anonymous said...

Folie a deux, caloric edition.

Matt G said...

Scarier still-- long before they couldn't get out of bed, they couldn't use the toilet. . . :(

Ew.

Anonymous said...

Heck, the other heavy guy (Uribe) about as big as him had his fiancee bringing him diet food to help him. Uribe lost 500 pounds on that.

My first question, a guy who's 1200 pounds got himself a fiancee? Me with my paunch, time to quit being so self conscious about that now. Ladies, here I come! :)