Friday, June 26, 2009

Note to self...

When dining at a restaurant with table service, attempt to avoid sitting in the area served by the guy with the neck beard.

As anyone who has ever set foot in a comic book shop knows, the amino acids that trigger the trait of "good customer service" and those that give the "ability to grow a good neck beard" bind at the same location on the human genome and are mutually exclusive.

Worst. Service. Evar.


(Related Pet Peeve: If I'm hauling greenbacks out of my pocket as you approach the table to drop the check, and then you meander off leaving me to wave money futilely at your retreating back, don't mumble "I'll take that whenever you're ready," when what you really mean is "I'll take that whenever I'm ready.")

16 comments:

og said...

Well, you can buy a few rounds of ammo with the money that would have been his tip.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Yeah. What was the tip percentage?

Brigid said...

The oven was not fixed today. After waiting they informed me the part was ordered Wednesday and won't be able to be installed until tomorrow morning or Monday. grrr,

Not too worry, we made appetizer crack and there's steaks to grill that are two pounds each. (do. . no. . . look. . . at. . . the. . .price. . . tag)

But I have all these frozen homemade croissants and no place to bake them.

I see a plan formulating for Sunday.

D.W. Drang said...

Not that I have any personal knowledge of these "neck beards" of which you speak, but it seems to me that it's not so much the ability to grow one, as the disinclination to trim or shave it, that is mutually exclusive of customer service skills.

D.W. Drang said...

PS: Just had to make use of the word verification that popped up after that comment: fatifyin. Brigid's cookin'.

reflectoscope said...

Its not a neck beard, it is a heatsink!

Jim

Alchemyst said...

I'm hopelessly out in left field here 'cause I don't know what a neck beard is. A quick check in Wikipedia was no help either. Somebody help this ol' fart out.

Tam said...

Neck Beard.

Mark said...

As someone who's nearly-uncontrollably hairy all over, than you for your qualification of "neck beard". I thought you meant the four inches I chop back under the collar every morning.

Alchemyst said...

Thanks. I found an image of one and all I can say is damned strange what some people will do to themselves. Vanity I suppose.

Matt G said...

Neckbeards are, in my experience, devices to make your real-life body look like it had somebody else's head attached to it via PhotoShop.

Gregg said...

For those of us of Dutch and Deutsch extraction, neck beards are one of those things that we have to combat every morning.

The problem is not a nature one, wherein the ability to serve a customer is genetically prohibited, but it is a problem of nurture, wherein the same indoctrination that says growing the infernal neck beard is acceptable also opines that customer service is overrated.

Joanna said...

There are two kinds of neck beards: a) Those that are properly maintained and actually look good on their owners, and b) those that are grown by tools too lazy to learn to shave properly. Sounds like you waiter had the latter.

Weer'd Beard said...

In Maine where the Neckbeards run wild, generally the service is OK if they're handing steamers or lobster on disposable flatware.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=1&issue=5

Pertinency around pages 7 or 8 :)

Cossack in a Kilt said...

reflectoscope:

You are teh Evilzorz! I have now wast3d 3 days reading the entire back issue compilation of "Questionable Content."

Hat3z youz, we dooz.