Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Iranian Revolutionary Guard: "We will pwn j00!"

"We will very soon inform the public the details of these destructive Internet networks and we warn the people who want to use cyberspace to incite riot, threaten people and create rumors that legal action will be taken against them and the penalty they will pay is very heavy," the Guard said in a statement carried by the official Islamic Republic News Agency.
Further, they denounced Moussavi supporters as a "bunch of c4mp3r f4g5" and stated that the internet is not a big truck, but rather a series of tubes.

Since the Revolutionary Guard is a bunch of lamers and n00bs, the threat was considered to be of questionable validity.


Wolfwood said...

We all hate AWPing campers, though.

Anonymous said...

So, the Iranian Government is going to hire a bunch of fat slobs that look like Comic Book Guy from "The Simpsons" but with darker hair and much thicker neck beards?

Worst revolution evar!

Shootin' Buddy

Mr. Fixit said...

"bunch of c4mp3r f4g5"

That's some funny shi'ite right there!

Mr Fixit

HTRN said...

So, they're going to behave like psychotic reprobates?

Anonymous is going to be PISSED. That's they're schtick, and they do is so much better.

Brenda said...

People of Iran: YOU are the change you have been waiting for. You have allowed the fat, bearded "old men of God" to dictate your lives to you for too long. Take back your power.

Robert Langham said...

The internet is better than guns for revolution, but not as good as having both.

Anonymous said...

Moussavi Supporters, keep up the fight!!! A house turned against itself cannot stand!
Reclaim your government and oust these islamic fascist pukes.

theirritablearchitect said...

The internets they got, let's air drop them the necessary armament.

As Robert said, better to have both.

Ed Foster said...

I still get e-mails from Hormuz and Kevan Gudarzi, guys I went to school with at U.Hartford in the 70's. Seriously cool dudes, who kicked a mean soccer ball, liked their women blond, and their scotch straight up.

The Pazdaran pervs, a mixture of Red Guard, religious police, and SS, are everywhere. Noisy kids are lucky if they only get away with a beating.

Mindless thugs from rural areas, drawn to their calling by a mixture of poverty and fundamentalism. Hated by most urban Iranis, but also, quite reasonably, feared.

However, western educated professionals like the Gudarzis are needed to keep the systems running, and what they do in private isn't interfered with.

They have their satellite dishes, their private parties with like-minded folks, and the quickest way to get rich in Tehran is to become a whiskey runner, supplying booze to the nightly parties that run all over town.

As soon as they're inside the door, off comes the burqa and on goes the slinky little cocktail dress. You might as well be in London, where most of these people went to school.

And, having had more than a few impure thoughts in my callow youth about certain Iranian girls I knew (think, a room full of Catherine Bells), trust me, the steriotype of beautiful Persian women is remarkably true.

So, sadly, the people who actually keep things going have no incentive to change the situation. They're kept secluded and safe, in exchange for not rocking the boat.

The interweb influenced teenagers throwing molotov cocktails are a rarety, a brave but small exception that gets all the press.

I gather the regular army isn't trusted much, in no small part because of it's strong ties with Israel, and the Pasdaran controls most of the supply trail running to regular units.

Suprisingly, the Jewish population has, mostly successfully, melted into the protected upper middle class, and passes fairly well for westernized yuppies.

Bottom line. If we flatten the Imams, there will be lots of people who like us, but they ain't gonna do the job themselves. The risk/benefits equation says sit tight. Sad, because they really are some of the coolest people I know.

Anonymous said...

We do not forgive. We do not forget.

Joel said...

I gather the regular army isn't trusted much, in no small part because of it's strong ties with Israel...


Joanna said...

As per Instapundit (I think that's where I saw it), I changed my Twitter location and time zone to Tehran. The more phony accounts and false flags the mullahs have to comb through, the better.

Tam, when do you want to go shooting again? I'm feeling boomsticky.

Tam said...

Sunday AM at Iggle Crick is the plan. :)

Steve Skubinna said...

You left out the part about them being ZOMG!!! teh ghey!!!eleven!!