Thursday, October 30, 2008

Quandary:

In the (temporary) absence of an AR-15 in the Armory de la Tam, with what do I fend off the zombie hordes?

1) M1 Garand?
2) FN-49 in 8mm Mauser?
3) SVT-40 Tokarev?
4) Remington Model 11 riot gun?

I've got enough ammo in .30-'06, 8x57JS, and 7.62x54R to reenact The Gauntlet, but I'm a little light on 12 gauge; maybe 100 rounds or so. Suggestions are being entertained in comments...

60 comments:

José Giganté said...

This is a trick question, everyone know shotguns are best for Zombies (and everything else). Besides, when that 100 rounds are up, you can easily find more at the local Wally World. Try finding 8mm in abundance there (or anywhere besides your house).

Brandon said...

My suggestion: use the M1 from a distance to rapidly and effectively reduce the numbers, and reserve the riot gun for the quick ones that manage to get in close.

The other guns can be reserved for (living) friends who manage to make it to your place.

Cossack in a Kilt said...

Well, since der Zombien always attack in hordes, I'd start engaging them at a distance with my lowest capacity autoloading rifle, i.e., the Garand. I find muttering "arsenal of democracy" while head-capping zombies to be a nice variation on the Bene Gesserit "I will let the fear wash over and through me" meme.

After you've run out of en-bloc clips, or when the zombies are getting closer, switch to (in order) the FN49 and then the SVT.

Note: The SVT and FN49 can switch places, depending on which one you think would deliver a better butt stroke.

Save the shotgun for close range mulching.

West, By God said...

12ga in one hand. Garand in the other. If you have a bayonet (on both) it helps. It is faster to reload the Garand, so when the model 11 runs out of shells, you can use it as a club a couple of times before you ditch it.

Keep a backup pistol, but only load it with a single round.

Anthony said...

M1 Garand.

It worked for killing Nazis. Killing zombies is the next best thing.

Tam said...

I do have a bayonet for the Garand, but it's the pansy little M5. I need to get an M1 or M1942 for real zombie-killing efficiency.

docjim505 said...

I agree with anthony. The M-1 ("the greatest battle implement ever devised") served our fathers and grandfathers well from North Africa to Chosin. Might be heavy to lug around and leave your shoulder feeling like somebody went after it with a sledgehammer, but it'll get the job done.

docjim505 said...

It just ocurred to me:

We know for a fact that the M-1 works against smelly hippie college students, and there's really not much difference between them and mindless zombies. I think that answers the question.

Anonymous said...

Definitely the M1 Garand.

Hank

OrangeNeckInNY said...

Sell all your rifles and load up on Claymores and shotgun shells. Set up the Claymores at eye level in discrete locations all along your perimeter for those headshots to take out the zombie hordes. Anything that gets through get a 3" #4 shot load through its noggin. Oh, and pick up 2 or more 12 gauges for the neighbors who manage to make their way to your place.

Ritchie said...

To paraphrase somebody else, the person with one gun knows what they'll use, the person with several isn't so sure.

MedicMatthew said...

Well, in the absence of an AR-15 your first line of defense should be another semi-automatic rifle. This allows for dispatching the hordes from a distance as they approach. While a trusted shotgun is an excellent choice for close range zombie combat it isn't the first line weapon for the coming Zombie Apocalypse. Despite the head shredding effect of a good scatter gun it is just that- a scatter gun- which at distance results in greater spread and less penetration of the cranial vault of an oncoming zombie. Remember, destruction or separation of the brain is the desired out come when defending oneself and ones loved ones from becoming a meat snack.

Though not all encompassing in regards to the subject I have amongst my recommended readings: The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks
and
www.zombiedefense.org

Johnny said...

Whatever - any of the rifles are better than an M16/AR15. The shot gun is usable in a pinch but for serious social purposes a rifle is required.

Anonymous said...

Take it from someone who knows, STIHL chainsaw and a machete.

(It's the only way to be sure)

Anonymous said...

Err, what? You're really AR-less just five days before the ascension? Are you mad, woman?

-SayUncle

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Well, since I armed MYSELF with the M1 and then the Model 11 for just that purpose...

Bob said...

The only question is whether to load the Model 11 with buckshot or slugs.

Rio Arriba said...

Be advised that all the latest ZOMs (Zombie Operational Manuals) stress the necessity of getting in close before being discovered. Therefore I recommend the shottygun AND some form of 1911 with a belt full of mags. An M60 or a SAW249 would be nice for lengthier work, but they are kinda hard to come by.

[verification code porack. Kinda a pump shotgun prep sound?]

Kristopher said...

Zombies? Get a chainsaw.

( confirmation code: unbarc :] )

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

No, No, No. Using a shotty as a primary Zed neutralizer is folly in most circumstances. You can't carry as many shells on your person as you can other alternatives. And for the ranges a shotgun has, it is too much gun. You're better with pistol caliber carbines. Think of the Shotgun as the overside pistol. A backup piece.

Now a high powered rifle is too much gun at short range, but it range envelope is much greater than a shotgun, so the Garand can be a good idea.

So, PEOPLE! Don't rely on the shotgun as your primary Zombie tapper. I've lost too many friends to Shamblors that made that same mistake.

Don't get me started on why an automatic rifle of any kind is a bad idea.

Tony said...

"Besides, when that 100 rounds are up, you can easily find more at the local Wally World."

Of course, you'd probably find plenty more zombies at the Wally World, too...

Tam said...

Unc,

"Err, what? You're really AR-less just five days before the ascension? Are you mad, woman?"


Hey, I know several someones with rafts of stripped AR lowers who would probably be happy to sell me one or two. I don't know anyone with a safe full of Colt 1902's. I had to strike while the iron was hot, and my AR was the most fungible thing I had.

Besides, losing the AR leaves me with only sixty-something rifles; it's not like I'm defenseless...

ArthurCW said...

Tam?

Without an AR this close to the fulfillment of The Prophecy of The One?

Hmmm... something is not right?

I think someone got to her. Anyone live close who can go check on her? See if there are any black helicopters parked in her yard?

theirritablearchitect said...

FN-40-frickin'-9!

Why?

The Garand is great, but the FN-49 is...just...so cool!

The Armed Canadian said...

Folks, folks, first rule of zombies: "Kill the brain, kill the ghoul.". Shotguns, claymores, machine guns and the like do nothing on Zack unless you hit them in the head. Shotguns are right out unless you're opting for sabot slugs with pointy ends.

Personally, I'd take the FN49 followed by the M1 Garand. SVT is 3rd on the list. The box magazine of the FN has greater capacity and easier to load single rounds or partial mags in desperate circumstances.

Regardless of choice, use a semi-auto. Sight on forehead, breathe, squeeze and move on the next Zack. Keep lots of ammo handy. Don't be in a hurry. Zack isn't so why should you be?

Anonymous said...

Use the Garand unless they charge upon hearing the "ping" from the ejected clip.

The FN would be fine, except didn't the design have a weak mainspring that would sometimes break? Hate to have that fail at the wrong time.

Comrade Lenin made sure that no Soviet rifle would fire on the undead, for some unknown reason, in 1952. Do not trust the Tokarev!

Shotguns against he undead is SO Hollywood!

alex. said...

Tam,

How do you like your SVT? Some 25 years ago my dear old dad had a 38 and a 40 and they were both a lot of fun. Soviet APIT ammo would shoot through most anything at 100 yards, and once in a while would start a brush fire (hastily extinguished, of course). Ah, the good old days!

OrangeNeckInNY said...

Canadian, did you not read the part where I said to mount the claymores at eye level? HelloOo!! :þ

Mopar said...

Well, the Egyptian FN is a pretty cool addition to a collection, but I wonder just how many mags ya got to go with it?
Out of your list, I'd have to agree with many of the others. I'd go with the ping thing, and keep the scattergun nearby as a backup.

Saladman said...

I'd go M1 Garand at range, backed up by the shotgun if they close, as has been said above. Of course, if you're sheltering in place, load all of the above.

Would it be trolling to make something of the appearance that Tam considers an AR-15 less essential than either the Garand or a Russian 7.62? (Not that I disagree.) :)

Tam said...

Mopar,

The FN-49 eats out of stripper clips, like an SKS. The mag is detachable, but not easily.


Saladman,

When I have an AR, it's my go-to gun while the Garand, FN, and Tok gather dust. But I can get another AR (or at least the important, serialized part) for $150, making it easily replaceable. Priced nice Toks lately? Yikes!

Carteach0 said...

Just something so.... classic.... about a Garand.

The others are enviable, but.....
Garands are good stuff.

Mopar said...

Priced nice Toks lately? Yikes!
Priced nice Garands lately? I've paid less for most of my cars.

TBeck said...

Just make sure that you have a reliable .22 LR pistol. When the zombies get close, you shoot someone near you in the quadricep and then take off running. The same principle applies to bear defense.

wv: gratick (the Uruk in charge of the attack on Helms Deep)

staghounds said...

People keep using the term combat- isn't this Zombat?

I'm SOL if they hit me- cover to within 10 yards and small rooms.


submit word drollsi

gracias!

Anonymous said...

This whole thing is a trick question, right? Shoot Zeds in the head. It's the only reliable way! Ruger 10/22 with multiple magazines. Ruger Mark III as back-up. Remember....small cal., high-capacity, shoot them in the head. Geeze Loueze.

trainer said...

You need a titanium crowbar. Never runs out of ammo.

the pawnbroker said...

"my AR was the most fungible thing I had."

forgetting about the snark are we? i'm tellin' ya...handled right, your star power at an indy gunshow would rival the "o"'s at a stadium revival...they'd be throwin' cash, guns, and jock straps at you (okay, maybe not 1902's).

"I can get another AR (or at least the important, serialized part) for $150..."

good point; i wouldn't wait too long though (say five days) to pick up a few, maybe sell off a couple more blades or carryware; expect that price to double or triple within a year...

jtc

Heath said...

You KNOW what the answer to this is.


BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG !!PING!!

:)

Don Gwinn said...

Riot gun. I don't even care what the question is.

Best gun for zombies?
RIOT GUN.

How can I open this jar of jelly?
RIOT GUN.

Do these pants make me look fat?
RIOT GUN.

Is a 529 plan really the best way to save for college?
RIOT GUN.

Neutrino Cannon said...


The FN-49 eats out of stripper clips, like an SKS. The mag is detachable, but not easily.


The FN-49 is the SKS's bigger and better looking sister.

In my experience the mag detaches quite readily, "readily" as in across the room thanks to the mag spring. I've never heard the one about the return spring being weak (the one on my Venezuelan is quite stiff enough, thank you very much), but I have heard of the stock and firing pin breaking.

Anyway, I vote for the SVT-40. Chances are better than average that it's got a few stripes smiting down brainless socialists (although of the National variety), so it should feel right at home splattering shambling hordes of zombies.

Brigid said...

You can borrow mine, if I miss with any of the remaining Mauser collection I'll smear them with peanut butter and sic Barkley on them.

Rio Arriba said...

42 comments?

On zombies?

OhhhhhhhKayyyyyyy.

theirritablearchitect said...

"i wouldn't wait too long though (say five days) to pick up a few, maybe sell off a couple more blades or carryware; expect that price to double or triple within a year..."

No shit there!

Mine gun stores have been JAM PACKED for the last couple of weeks.

Just picked up another tin of combloc ammo today...and it I can sweet talk the Krauter into it, I'm picking up an AR this weekend.

I told her it's a good investment...and I didn't even have to lie about that.

Ed Foster said...

So how many AR lower recievers do I have to give you in exchange for the Tokarev? Also several uppers, complete, with a few barrels thrown in.
I'd suggest an M-4 carbine length (civilian 16 inch really)in 5.56mm, another one in 20 inch standard profile, an HBAR profile, and a standard weight 6.8mmSPC. I'll even throw in a 6.8mm bolt. I'm totally goddamn serious here. Tokarevs are COOL!
They aren't a pimple on an M-1's ass as a fighting rifle, but they are one of the spiffiest examples of the machinist's art out there.
As for a long bayonette, don't. The shorter the blade, the better the weapon (think Roman slash Celtiberian gladius). He is at the end of a longer lever (his own weapon) and you are inside his point.
I remember a rather graphic demonstration at Camp Pendleton long ago, at the hands of Staff Sargeant Martin. Educational, if embarassing.
Should you be interested in an exchange, do you still have my e-mail? At the drop of a "Maybe we can talk", I'll resend it to you. Or perhaps a mix-n-match with a lower, two or three uppers, and a really clean Finnish M28 Moisin so you have a reason to keep some 7.62 x 54R around the house? I'll throw in some new steel stripper clips.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

You need to gather them all and take them to the range, along with a gunnie crew to take photos, and see what makes the best 200 yard headshot for you :)

I've always wondered... the average human is 5'8 or 5'9. If you strung a piece of thick piano wire taughtly at ankle height, and them a piece of fine wire VERY tightly about 5'5 away and 2' up, would a shuffling zombie simply trip and decapitate itself?

The guys (left) at the range seem to want me along on apocalypse day. I wonder why?

Tam said...

Ed,

Maybe we can talk...

Stretch said...

People! People! People!
When given such a choice there is but one right and true answer; the weapon designed by John Moses Browning (*faces Ogden and bows*) the Remington Model 11, nee Browning Auto-5.
Of the others, in order:
Garand
FN
Commie gun.

Anonymous said...

I got a Spanish Air Force Mauser Short Rifle in 8m. is excellent condition for $160

Wally World has no ammo, can't find any local stripper clips.

Well i'd still have to say THE M1!!

is 30-06 correct? or is it 7.62 nato?

every midwest country boy will tell ya 90% of the gas stations carry 30-06 during the hunting season.

no mater how small the town some one carries 30-06.

Dam! I'm I'll equipped for a Zombie infestation!

Somerled said...

Just put all four out at strategic points. I'd put the Remington Model 11 in the bedroom loaded with no. 8 shot. It doesn't penetrate walls as bad...don't want to hit the cat, Roberta or the next-door neighbor with a slug or 00 buck. But no. 8 shot will rip up a zombie badly. The autopsies aren't pretty.

One can always quick-switch to slug or buck.

Anonymous said...

I know you have a lighter. Be sure and pack your hairspray! (or maybe that only works on snakes)

Zdogk9 said...

The Garand. I remember back when I was in 7th or 8th grade and Winchester came out with SILVERtip ammunition. One gun writer opined that a 30-06 loaded with SILVERtips would do the job on anything that walked or was likely to walk the North American Continent.

perlhaqr said...

I don't have any of those items except a Model 11. My go to items in event of Zombie Apocalypse are the FAL, the AK, and then my Mossberg 500. If I manage to run through all the loaded mags I have for the first two, and they're still coming, Wow, the planet has problems.

milspec said...

I was at Mau-Mart yesterday and Remington 00 buck was just ubder $12 for 15 rounds.

Hobie said...

It is a military dictum that one engages at the maximum range of one's weapons systems. Do as the Turks did at Plevna, first engage with rifles and save the shotgun for final protective fires.

Larry said...

Can't you use them all? I would agree with using the shotgun last, but make sure you are at MOPP level IV cause the blood is infectious.

Tam said...

Hobie,

It makes me so happy to know that folks still know about Plevna. :)

Assrot said...

I'd take the M1 Garand over all the others anyday. Just keep her well oiled and she'll last you another 100 years with very little maintenance.

Joe

TmjUtah said...

Garand. Whistle a happy tune and be methodical. When the hand guard starts smoking, leave the bolt open and set it aside for the 49.

My daughters expect us to have a Zom bie field day here in our culdesac. Their only concern is what happens when there are enough empties on the lawn (I own ... a few Mosins, on top of the modern stuff) for the horde to clamber onto the roof with us.

"That's what the cannon loaded with cannister is for."

Ambulance Driver said...

"Take it from someone who knows, STIHL chainsaw and a machete.

(It's the only way to be sure)"

No Anonymous, the only way to be sure is to take off and nuke the site from orbit.