Friday, June 12, 2009

Brace for nomex bathrobes...

Apparently six people have turned into roman candles when their non-flame-retardant lounging attire combusted.

This seems to occur when cooking over an open flame, and so we here at VFTP would like to steal a march on the CPSC and hand out a few safety pointers:

  1. Don't let your clothes catch fire.
  2. For Vishnu's sake, if you botch step one, remove the burning item of apparel promptly. Don't just stand there and stare at it like a duck in thunder while the rest of your garments go up in in flames, making you look like the centerpiece of a pretentious artsy hippie festival.
  3. If these steps appear complicated or confusing, may we suggest alternate kitchen wear?

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Another option could be cooking in the nude. I, personally, would avoid frying bacon, though!

Jon

Carteach0 said...

And..... why should we attempt to thwart the will of Lord Darwin? I say we hand out matches and flammable underwear...

Laughingdog said...

"Three of the victims were in their 80s, the CPSC said."

Not quite as absurd when you see this. I have a hard time picturing my grandmother yanking off a bathrobe in a hurry (or anything else in a hurry for that matter).

"Five of the six victims were female,"

So I guess this makes it a bad thing for me to tell my girlfriend to get her bitch ass back in the kitchen.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

Pakistan... wonder if the dye process used has a little contamination in it.

A cotton robe, not so bad. But if every ~100'th robe off the line is a little nitrated, I could see some problems arising.

Nitrocellulose is not my first choice in textiles...

Rabbit said...

One of my sigfiles is:

"Warning labels thwart the purpose of natural selection."

I use that at work. A lot.

Half of those reported involved women in their 80's? Y'see a trend there, Scooter?

Ban chenille robes. It's for the grannies!

Regards,
Rabbit.

DirtCrashr said...

But...if it weren't for people like this Burning Man would have no relevance.

RandomRob said...

I vote for cooking in the nude. I encourage my significant other to do it as frequently as possible.

Only bacon presents a problem and then, I suggest a flame retardant apron.

-Rob

Anonymous said...

Doesn't even need to be flame retardent per se, just not fluffy high surface area cotton chenille, which looks *exactly* like the fluff I used to help start fires with in the Boy Scouts.

OA said...

I bet seeing Grandma Frickert go up really freaked some cats right the hell out.

JohnMXL said...

EMS: Interrupting natural selection since the days of Johnny Gage and Roy DeSoto.

Reese said...

While I was living in Ukraine the #2 reason for apartment fires, after smoking in bed, was drying underwear over the gas stove.

daddyquatro said...

While I was living in Ukraine the #2 reason for apartment fires, after smoking in bed, was drying underwear over the gas stove.

See! That's why I come to Tam's place everyday.
No where else on the whole damn innernets would you find such vital information.

BOT, I'm guessing that 80 yo ladies will also have trouble with that whole "Stop, drop, and roll" thing.
Wait... "Five of the six victims were female, and all five were cooking at the time of the incidents."
So what was the dude doing?

Warthog said...

Depending on the cook, I would also chime in in favor of nude cooking.

I'd suggest that to a certain red headed cook that I know frequents this blog, but I fear she may be a better shot than I am.

jimbob86 said...

"Even though we had passing flammability tests from accredited overseas labs for each lot of the chenille robes which we imported..."

"Accredited" and "overseas labs".... snerk...... I see yer proll'em rawt there......

-jimbob

markm said...

Since most of the victims were in their 80's, I'd rather not visualize that cooking in the nude thing.