Two CIA operatives posing as journalists working for Al Gore have been found guilty of spying on the Dear Leader (no, not ours; North Korea's,) and sentenced to twelve years hard labor in re-educational confinement strength-through-joy camps.
U.S. State Department spokesman Ian Kelley told reporters
"We are deeply concerned by the reported sentencing of the two American citizen journalists by North Korean authorities, and we are engaged through all possible channels to secure their release. A carrier battlegroup accompanied by the 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit is at sea steaming for Korean waters now. I am authorized to confirm the deployment of additional USAF squadrons to Japan and the ROK, but I can neither confirm nor deny any rumors you have heard about the lights being on late at Pope AFB and Fort Bragg. I can say that we will show those people that you do not screw with a blue passport."Actually, I made up all that stuff after "release". What he really went on to say was
"We once again urge North Korea to grant the immediate release of the two American citizen journalists on humanitarian grounds."Which is pretty funny, really. You've gotta be a special kind of stupid to appeal "on humanitarian grounds" to a nation which fences its people in with guards dogs and electrified barbed wire while they starve to death so that their Dear Leader (not our Dear Leader, North Korea's,) can afford imported booze and hookers.
"Hey! I can see the New Socialist Man from up here!"