Thursday, June 04, 2009


Okay, so apparently we have two US citizens imprisoned in North Korea for some strange offense against the benevolent government of their Dear Leader. Granted, they were hippies working for Al Gore, but they're U.S. citizens nonetheless. Their hippieness just makes the irony more delicious when they get rescued by the USS Iwo Jima.

Which of course isn't going to happen, because North Korea is slinging nukes and missiles around like a spilled ashtray in a roadside fireworks stand and all we've done about it is drop some stern glances of disapproval and threats of... well, nothing, actually. What are you going to threaten them with? Cutting off trade? The only thing they trade is dirt, and that only on the domestic market. Although there are rumors that they're looking at branching out into the ICBM export business. Maybe we could get Al Qaeda Pakistan to slap a prohibitive tariff on N. Korean rockets. That'll show 'em how miffed we are!

Meanwhile, our Dear Leader is busy kowtowing to the wogs in some oppressive third-world hell hole. If he had a forelock, he'd be tugging it.

Well, at least it won't be a dull four years.


Mr. Fixit said...

I'm not sure I want to live in interesting times.

Mr Fixit

Larry said...

I agree. I think I'd rather have dull for a little while.

J.R.Shirley said...


The only reason most of N. Korea exists is because they are given massive amounts of food by S. Korea annually. If that were cut off...

Stuart_the_Viking said...

"If that were cut off..."

They would try to take it and we would have Korean war part II. I don't think that President Unicorn is up to the challenge of such an occurance.

Interesting times indeed.

Nathan Brindle said...

Our Dear Leader can kowtow to the wogs all he wants. He just should not expect us to kowtow to them -- OR HIM -- when he returns.

(FWIW, knowing what it means and what it signifies, "kowtow" was exactly the right word to use here.)

Assrot said...

I think we need to send about 10,000 hippies to North Korea. They can teach them commies how to grow and smoke dope.

Once that catches on, nobody there will do anything except eat, sleep, fuck and sit around the fire singing kumbaya.


Brigid said...

We could threaten to provide them with cable TV that only allows them to watch "John and Kate plus Eight !" (which I refer to Kate and Jon plus the Spawn) 24 and 7.

staghounds said...

I'm waiting for the Dresden apology tomorrow.

Andrew said...

Analysts said the trial could be brief, and sentences might be handed down Thursday. The women could face years in labor camps if convicted.

That's the reason I don't visit fascist regimes like North Korea or Chicago.

No Worries said...

@assrot -- And what's so terrible about eating, sleeping, fucking, smoking dope, and sitting around a campfire?

Sounds pretty good to me, and I'm not even a hippie.

Let the North Koreans rattle their sabers. The only reason they do it is because eventually the US will give the North Korean government massive amounts of cash and merchandise to stop making noise for a few years. This has happened again and again, and it will continue to happen.

Nothing to see here, folks. Keep moving.

Assrot said...

@No Worries

There is nothing wrong with it so long as the rest of the law abiding, tax paying citizens in the country don't have to support the lazy ass doing it because said lazy ass doesn't work for a living and thinks they are entitled to everyone else supporting them.

I believe in "It harm none, do as you will." Freedom is always first in my book as long as you don't think you are entitled to me bankrolling your freedom.