Overheard...

...in the hallway:

Idiot Box: "...and tune in next week to see who America loves!"

T: "You know what I'd love? An airstrike on the American Idol studio. With cluster bombs."

R: "That'd be cool."

T: "I'd definitely tune in to watch that."
_____________________________________________

...in the office:

T (to geriatricat): "Uh, Tommy, get out from under the desk. I don't like the way you're nosing around down there."

R (to geriatricat): "Fresh litter, Tommy! The power strip is dangerous!"

T: "And do you have any idea how long the odor of burnt cat ass lingers in a room?"