Friday, June 05, 2009

Amongst some hippie drivel at HuffPo...

...I managed to get a pretty good chuckle out of one line.

The setting is a classroom in Idaho in the far off future of 2109 AD. The teacher is telling her class of enraptured pupils about how President Obama saved the world back in 2009. Somehow it segues into a lecture on the horrific carnivorous eating habits of us early 21st Century primitives:
Professor Dawkins, who was the foremost evolutionary scientist of his day, denounced what he called "speciesist arrogance" -- this idea that human beings are the pinnacle of creation -- and he called other species our "cousins,"...
...and, as Shiva is my witness, the first thought that sprang unbidden to my mind was "Well, they are our cousins. Our rich, tasty cousins. Yum!"

35 comments:

Dr. StrangeGun said...

A big brain and opposable thumbs (or even just the brain) is enough to put us so far above the next highest organism that we may as well be aliens on our own planet.

We rule :)

This reminds me of a friend of mine who, while play-taunting his cats, would tease them about not having opposable thumbs...

Robb Allen said...

Pinnacle of creation?

I figured it was more the luckiest of random chance, myself.

BobG said...

Calling it drivel was being kind. To me it is just plain old bullshit.

DirtCrashr said...

Calling Dawkins that is an arrogant stretch all by itself.
But in the same vein it's also "speciesist arrogance" to assume we're solely responsible for global worming.

JT said...

Meat is Murder.


Tasty, tasty, murder.

Anonymous said...

Behold the logic of the Left:

Meat is Murder.

Sticking a fork in a baby's head is a game of tickle.

Shootin' Buddy

Tam said...

Meat is murder.

And murder tastes good.

Divemedic said...

Plants share 98% of our DNA. Plants are our cousins as well. Perhaps they should not eat anything except dirt.

Andrew C said...

Wow. Are we sure this person isn't a plant to make vegetarians look like total morons? I have a tough time believing someone could have written that article sincerely.

Maybe the lack of protein has destroyed her brain.

Caleb said...

Am I the only one who read all of the "teacher's" comments in the voice of young River Tam's teacher from Serenity? You know, the one who says that the Alliance doesn't want to tell you what to think, but teach you "how" to think.

Anonymous said...

Wow self-satire at its finest or was the writer serious? I doubt I could even begin to write something like that and keep a straight face. If the author actually believes that drivel there is no hope for her.
Rey B

Mike W. said...

MEAT. It's what's for dinner!

reflectoscope said...

Had Strangegun not beat me to it, I would simply have noted that we're all good until cats evolve thumbs. Then we're f*cked.

Jim

T said...

we're all good until cats evolve thumbs. Then we're f*cked.

Not unless they evolve .50 cals about 5 minutes afterwards.

crankylitprof said...

Jesus H. Fuckbuckets.

I read that piece and wonder how in holy Hell the Eloi on the left are even around and in charge.

aczarnowski said...

Following up crankylitprof's comment, the more I look around me the more I think the morlocks got a bad shake in _The Time Machine_.

the pawnbroker said...

don't know what the hell is wrong with you people. i very much appreciate the attitude of the prof and his adherents. and if i'm ever shipwrecked or in a plane crash in the himalayas, i hope to have several chubby ones there to keep me...um...company.

jtc

Anonymous said...

We had a nice conservative local high school kid in town here a while back that was offered a scholarship to go to Berkeley. During his second summer home I asked how he could stand to be surrounded by all those whack-job liberals. He told me - "I like it there. If a natural disaster ever strikes and we are left to fend for ourselves, I'm so gonna own that entire town and everyone in it."

LabRat said...

Jesus Haploid Christ. I couldn't get more than a few skimmed paragraphs in before I wanted to shriek and bash the author in the head with a bone like the opening of "2001".

SO MUCH WRONG. Including Dickie Dawkins as a "foremost evolutionary scientist of his time". Don't get me wrong, he introduced some important concepts that did change the way people thought about evolution, but he also turned out to be wrong in most of the particulars. What he was was probably the best WRITER on the subject I have ever read- at least until he decided his time would be better spent nagging his fellow sapiens.

Anonymous said...

Ah, me. Not exactly Swiftian satire, but the author is trying.

Very trying.

Giggle-snort.

And so, dear friends, off to the steak house.

Art

Anonymous said...

PETA ---People Eating Tasty Animals!! Yum!

I could only skim this. My stomach can only stand so much.
But I have several questions for Kathy. . .
What is the lifestyle of these future peoples? What is their standard of living, compared to today? What is used for fuel for transportation, and heating, and manufactoring? What is their diet, if they don't eat meat, and they're so gentle, how can they even stand to grow, harvest (kill), mutulate, chop and eat plants? Under what form of government do they live? It surely can't be a Republic? And if the future people are so gentle, then probably someone else who is meaner and tougher has conquered the U-S-of-no-longer-A.

Please answer as many questions as you can, and explain your answers in current real-world terms, and not dreamy-eyed liberal-loony-leftist terms.

Thank you for your time while awake,

Herr Professor B Woodman
III

B.S. philosopher said...

I'm just impressed that you can can dredge throught the slime that is Huffpo. Years ago I used to try and read them in the interest of intellectul fairness, along with the the KOStards and DUmmies. After ten minutes I'd usually be in a shaking white faced rage...


wv Blyton

i.e. Huffpo is a blight on the interwebz.

Anonymous said...

...the Morlocks are prolly the remnants of contributors to the Democratic Underground site.

After all, s'not much of a step for their viral moral cannibalism, to go actual in a pinch.

Ask the Russians how that all worked out under Uncle Josef,when he 're-distributed' agricultural products from the producers to "the masses."

John, the Red.

------
and 'flably' seems so apt for the discussion. Not sure how much nutrition in flably, as opposed to fitly. But the DemUnder's are sure to have a correct opinion, n'est pas?

Mikael said...

"PETA ---People Eating Tasty Animals!! Yum!"

Pretty much what I was going to say... MMmmmm meat *homer drool mode*

D.W. Drang said...

Well, I made the attempt to read that tripe, but since I haven't (d)evolved the special gill slits needed to not only drink, but indeed to breathe the kool-aid, I didn't get too far.

Now I need to have my netbook exorcised...

WV: breac. What I want to do to the kneecaps of HuffPosters...

Cossack in a Kilt said...

The family that eats together . . . .

alath said...

Quote: "Plants share 98% of our DNA. Plants are our cousins as well. Perhaps they should not eat anything except dirt."

You would EAT Mother EARTH? What kind of monster are you who would eat his own MOTHER?

og said...

Me, I just had some deer meat tacos (well, I'd call them fajitas but for the fact that Fajitas are actually skirt steak) and I gotta tell you, nothing beats eating your brother Bambi.

"Mothurrr!!"

Vegetarian. it's what's for dinner.

OrangeNeckInNY said...

Don't forget our bastard stepchildren - the mashed potatoes, steamed veggies and fruit. Lots and lots of fruit. Which would explain the existence of Dawkins.

Anonymous said...

Best quote from the comments section of that article:

Sure, I'll be a vegetarian----When meat grow on trees.

Now, show me the way to the baby back ribs tree.

Tam said...

Be careful in the HuffPo comments section; it's infested with Zortian Brain Leeches. Many a good person has read one post too many and... *slurp!* ...half their cerebellum, gone out their ear canal.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget that the book the aliens brought with them when they came "to serve man", was a cookbook.

Buck said...

Wow,thats so wrong. I wish the writer could meet the liberals in my family, they pack guns and like the taste of Bambi.

Joseph said...

Reads as if it was written for kids.

Or written by someone who isn't a very good writer.

Or both!!

Joseph said...

Plants share 98% of our DNA. Plants are our cousins as well. Perhaps they should not eat anything except dirt.

There's a theory that life started out as a type of dirt.

When we start to protect the dignity of dirt, that will include the right to not be humiliated, so the phrase "dumb as dirt" will have to go...