Monday, June 29, 2009

Kids these days...

It's an axiom among some folks that if you can't figure out an electronic gizmo, you should hand it to the nearest 13-year-old.

Of course, if the electronic gizmo in question is a portable cassette player and the 13-year-old in question is a kid in Scotland so dense that he practically has an event horizon, then this plan may not work. There he is in the picture, forehead beaded with flop sweat like Dick Nixon lying to reporters, trying to puzzle out the buttons on the device, despite the fact that they are emblazoned with the very same hieroglyphs for "stop", "play", "eject", "fast forward" and so forth as every other electronic media player in his house.

There exists the possiblity, of course, that he was playing it for yuks and I'm just a mean and reactionary old biddy. I mean, I was actually listening to a cassette in the car today. You know, just for some retro kicks. Anyhow, it's good to know that the last laugh will be on him...
You can almost imagine the excitement about the Walkman coming out 30 years ago, as it was the newest piece of technology at the time.

Perhaps that kind of anticipation and excitement has been somewhat lost in the flood of new products which now hit our shelves on a regular basis.

Personally, I'm relieved I live in the digital age, with bigger choice, more functions and smaller devices. I'm relieved that the majority of technological advancement happened before I was born, as I can't imagine having to use such basic equipment every day.
Yeah, junior, in 2039 you'll be hearing "Can you believe dad actually had to stick speakers in his ear and store audio files on a chip in his pocket rather than just having them beamed to his audio implant?" Feel cutting edge while you can, 'cause the future just keeps coming...

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

If it's some new dodad that everyone is raving about? Maybe next year when its not so beta. And maybe not even then.

Gmac

wv : flogere Possibly an overly aggressive blogger

Adam said...

"I mistook the metal/normal switch on the Walkman for a genre-specific equaliser"

LOL.

knirirr said...

Whilst I was going around a local museum recently a party of 10-year olds was going around. The museum staff gave them a rotary-dialed telephone and asked them to dial a number - none could manage it.

fast richard said...

Yeh, If the next thirty years are anything like the last thirty years, that kid will see some changing technology. When I was thirteen portable music meant a transistor AM radio with a single earphone. Old tech meant the hand cranked Victrola in the basement, with a small selection of 78 rpm records. Telephone numbers in our town were four digits and I knew which ring pattern to answer on the party line at my uncles farm.

staghounds said...

"Naive"?

"Impromptu"??!???

I don't think he's so dense, find a U. S. 13 year old who uses those words.

And here's Scott's website:

http://netnewsdaily.com/

Ritchie said...

Mostly, I only go back as far as the Spark-O-Matic mono FM converter for the car radio. Which (the radio) had the classic vibrator circuit to make high voltage. For the tubes. Vacuum. Oh, and could anyone use a repair manual for a Morris Minor?

Joseph said...

yep, you're bitter.

Jeffro said...

All this retro and future tech stuff is great, but dammit, where are the flying cars?

og said...

"so dense that he practically has an event horizon,"

That is the snark of the week.

I do often wonder how many people even understand the weapons grade snark you use. F*** getting in a gunfight with you, your brain is the more lethal weapon.

The Old Man said...

Bloody hell, Og beat me to it. That was a lovely bit of prose, darlin'.

David said...

Back in the late 70s while recording some LPs to Cassettes and we were dreaming of the day when we could buy our albums on a medium about the size of a postage stamp, plug it into a device smaller than a cigarette pack and play the music on our headphones. We hoped we would both live long enough to see such marvels. Last year we were bemoaning the fact that our dream had arrived while we were both still alive, and then had been supplanted by newer technology within a year.

Rabbit said...

I dread the next major format shift because I'll have to buy another copy of the White Album.

Regards,
Rabbit.

Cossack in a Kilt said...

Soylent Green is PEOPLE!

reflectoscope said...

Og beat me to it. I nearly blew coke on the monitor at work when I read that one.

Jim

Turk Turon said...

"...so dense that he practically has an event horizon"

Yes, that's a classic.

Steve Skubinna said...

Listened to a cassette, did you? I hope it was to be hip and ironic. Did you wear a bowling shirt and ball cap too?

Tam said...

It was Hack by Information Society.

I try and keep a few cassettes in the car for the occasions when I'm driving along and the CD changer malfs. I'd rather gargle crushed glass than listen to broadcast radio.

Rob K said...

Just yesterday on the way home from work, I was listening to a Violent Femmes tape I recorded off CD years ago. I'm glad to see I'm in good company.

Jay G said...

Wow. A tape deck...

I haven't had a tape deck since... Let's see...

Nope, the 2001 Durango had a tape deck. Which I got rid of two years ago, so...

Now, if you asked me the last time I played a tape, OTOH...

reflectoscope said...

One place you still see tapes in in decibel drag racing, because they won't skip. It seems like an odd activity, but it is based on repeatable science and it is their money.

Jim

Also, Tam: Sirius. The best way to spend 15 bucks a month.

doubletrouble said...

Had to come back here & add my "+1" for the event horizon comment.
I've been chuckling about it for days,& using it where applicable.

Problem is, use it in conversation, & then try to explain what an "event horizon" is, & why the person is so dense, & ... never mind.

Kinda loses impact- I need smahter friends.

Dr. StrangeGun said...

audio implant? Nah.

I think the next step is shrinking the directional acoustics they're using to blast pirates and greenpiecers on the open seas, and use them with a very loose-fit earbud to tickle the eardrum directly. Very low power required, no SPL leakage, and being loose-fit, you can still hear everything going on around you.

Damn, I've ruined my patent chances AGAIN...